


Clarity

by WritingIsMyAddiction



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-05-26 10:44:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6235582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingIsMyAddiction/pseuds/WritingIsMyAddiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took six months for the Sky People to see the error in placing their faith in Pike. The Sky People are starving, freezing, and slowly dying. With Marcus the newly appointed Chancellor, he reaches out to the grounders to re-establish peace. But a lot has changed in six months. And Clarke isn't sure if Lexa will listen to her after things between them ended in Polis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is another 3x07 fix it, season 3 done my way.
> 
> Clarke left after confronting Lexa about the kill order. The love scene never happened and neither did the death. Clarke and Octavia made it back to Arkadia before the blockade. 
> 
> I'm planning for this story to answer some of the questions that were posed about the 13th station, the 8th initiate in Lexa's conclave, and various others. The answers probably won't follow canon. 
> 
> There will be more Octavia, Lincoln, Raven, and the minor characters I feel like we haven't seen much of so far. 
> 
> Lastly, the title came from the song Clarity by Zedd.

**I'm going to warn you guys, this story starts out pretty angsty. It's just in the mood I've been in lately.**

Chapter One 

Lexa stared down at her city, at Polis. The shining beacon for her people that she had sworn to protect and provide for. But she felt wary, a guilt settling over her chest, like she had failed them in some way. But she couldn’t figure out how. They had peace, after a fashion. The blockade around Arkadia was holding and no one had attempting to cross the neutral zone. At least the Sky People were beginning to see the error of their faith in Pike. The last they had learned they were holding another election for a new Chancellor.

“Heda.” Lexa didn’t turn when she heard Titus approaching. She was still angry at him for his part in all of this. Even though she knew that Titus had his reasons. He was only trying to do what he thought was best for their people. But if it hadn’t been for his insistence, Clarke might still be there.

“Have they elected a new Chancellor?” Lexa asked. Titus felt a tug of sadness in his heart when he heard the dullness in her voice. he knew that she was trying to hide it. Pretend that she hadn’t been affected by Clarke leaving. Clarke had left after coming to talk to Lexa about the kill order. When Lexa had gone to find Clarke after speaking with Titus, she had learned that Clarke and Octavia had gone. Lexa had thought that she knew pain, but this had hurt in a way that she didn’t anticipate.

“They have, and they sent word. They would like to meet with you to discuss a truce between our people.” Titus said. Lexa scoffed, of course they wanted peace. Of course they wanted to crawl back under her protection and let her provide for them because it was now convenient for them. Their most recent report said that the Sky People were desperately low on food.

“Should I give them peace Titus?” Lexa asked turning to face her mentor, her teacher. He was surprised by her question. She had always wanted peace, her entire coalition had been made to ensure that everyone had peace among the clans.

“I do not understand.”

“Peace while it suits the new Chancellor, war when it doesn’t suit the next? I grow tired of defending their crimes.”

“At your word Heda the Army will wipe them out.” Titus promised. Lexa laughed softly. She knew that they would.

“Call the ambassadors. We will consult with them.” Lexa said turning to go back herself ready to hold council. She still walked with a slight limp, though she had mostly recovered. Titus wondered if the Sky People would ever know how much Lexa had done for them.

* * *

Lexa sat on her throne, staring at her ambassadors. Many of them were staring up at her with surprised expressions. Some of them openly gawking at her. None of them could believe what she was asking them. 

“You are asking us if we will vote against you Heda?” The ambassador from Floudonkru asked, his eyes wide.

“I am asking what the position of this council is about inviting Skaikru back into this Coalition as the thirteenth clan.” Lexa clarified. She had never asked them for their opinion before. No commander had. She was Heda, she commanded obedience.

“They do not deserve it Heda. The disrespect they have shown you is inexcusable.”

“They were misled. They ask for forgiveness. They will adhere to our laws. Any violations will be met with the swift corrective action of our army. My patience is as thin as yours with the ignorance of Skaikru. They came to the ground thinking that they were superior to us. They will be made to learn that they are not.” Lexa knew she was winning them over. The harshness of her voice was enough to prove to them that she had rid herself of whatever weakness Clarke had brought out in her.

“And what of Wanheda?”

“She will be allowed the same privileges as all of you, as the ambassador for her clan.” Lexa answered firmly. Her weakness for Clarke was known by everyone. And Lexa was embarrassed by it. Titus was right, the life of Heda is a life spent alone.

“We will accept Skaikru as the thirteenth clan if, they agree to hand over the man known as Pike to face our justice. Blood must have blood.” The mutters of agreement spread around the room.

“Jus drein jus daun.” Lexa repeated.

She watched as the room emptied slowly, leaving Lexa and Titus alone.

“You do not have to go Heda. I can go in your stead and handle the negotiations.” Titus offered. Lexa knew that he was trying to help. And she was grateful for it.

“I do have to go. I am Heda. But you will come with me.”

* * *

It had been six months since the blockade had formed around Arkadia. Most of the time Clarke couldn’t even see them, five miles was a lot further a distance then they deserved. But sometimes she saw Trikru scouts in the trees. No one else saw them, but they didn’t know what they were looking for. Six months of looking along the tree line and hoping that she would see Lexa among them. But she never did. 

Leaving had been impulsive. She knew that if she didn’t go, if she stayed to talk with Lexa and say goodbye she wouldn’t have the strength to leave. Lexa was offering her everything that Clarke had never known that she wanted. Acceptance and love. She would do anything for her people, but it was getting harder and harder to deny her own heart.

“Clarke?” Looking up from her sketchpad, Clarke saw Abby approaching. The two had a fractured relationship, and they had never really been allowed the time to repair it. But they were slowly learning how to forgive one another, six months had allowed them that time. When Clarke had first arrived in Arkadia, Pike had had her arrested. She was too much of a threat to him to not separate her from the general population. But after a week, he realized the error in his ways. Imprisoning Clarke was what started people’s wavering faith in him. Despite her absence the people still trusted Clarke. Looked to her for leadership whether they wanted to admit it or not.

“Hey.” Clarke answered closing her sketchbook so Abby wouldn’t see the embarrassing amount of sketches of Lexa she had.

“I thought you’d want to know we heard back from the Grounders. The Commander is on her way; they’ll be here tomorrow to talk terms.” Abby said. Clarke nodded, her words couldn’t get passed the lump that had formed in her throat. Abby hesitated, she knew that there was something that was hurting Clarke and every ounce of maternal nature in her wanted to make it better. Sliding down the wall to sit with Clarke, Abby waited.

“I’m okay mom.” Clarke lied. She knew that Abby would see right through it. But she had to try.

“You can talk to me Clarke. I’m your mother. Anything that you’ve done, I don’t care. But something is hurting you, and I know that you’re trying to be strong because you think that’s what we need from you. But you don’t have to be strong anymore.” Abby said putting her hand on Clarke’s knee.

“Some things can’t be forgiven just by talking.” Clarke offered.

“You’ve been forced to grow up so fast. I’m so sorry for my part in that. But I am so proud of who you’ve become because of it.”

“Do you think that…will I ever be forgiven for what I’ve done?”

“You’ve already been forgiven Clarke. I know you don’t think so. But the people in this camp are turning against Pike because of you. They know there isn’t anything that you wouldn’t do for them. That’s why they listen to you.” Abby had been amazed to see how Clarke had taken on Pike. She hadn’t outright challenged him. But her presence in the camp was enough to stir the people’s doubt.

“Do you think I’ll ever forgive myself?” Being back in Arkadia was enough to bring back demons that Clarke had thought that she was finally beginning to move past. But she hadn’t slept through the night a single night since she had been back. Waiting up most nights from a nightmare. Sometimes it would be the mountain, other times it would be about the months that she had spent alone.

“That’s up to you baby. You have nothing to feel guilty for. Everything you’ve done was warranted. I can tell you that, your friends can tell you that, but you need to believe that.” Abby insisted.

“I wish it were that easy.”

“Well, if it’s alright with you I’d like to sit with you for a while?” Abby said waiting for Clarke’s subtle nod before getting comfortable.

Night feel with the promise of a storm, in the distance thunder rumbled across the sky. Still a novelty to some, but the rain was seen as a nuisance now. Clarke still loved it, she loved the way that the rain drops felt when they hit her face. So she sat out in the courtyard and waited for the sky to let lose with its fury. She was alone, as she often was. The people were still wary of her. Even if they respected and looked to her to make the hard calls, they were still afraid of her.

“Is this seat taken?” Clarke jumped when she heard Octavia behind her. The younger brunette had been reluctant to forgive Clarke. But they found a common ground as being outsiders among the Sky People. Octavia had never been one of them and especially now that she was mostly Grounder she was an outcast. It was helping them mend their friendship having that common ground.

“Pull up some dirt.” Clarke said patting the ground beside her. Octavia sat down and stared up at the blackness of the sky. The clouds making it impossible to see any of the stars, it was just a blanket of blackness above them.

“The Commanders coming tomorrow, do you think we’ll have peace again?” Octavia asked. She missed being a Grounder. She missed Polis, she missed being Indra’s second, she didn’t belong in Arkadia and the kill order had been like a banishment to her.

“If she’s coming here herself, then yeah probably.” Clarke answered. She didn’t know that for sure. She wished that she knew what Lexa was thinking. But six months was enough to change a person. Clarke could only imagine what Lexa was going through in Polis. In Arkadia they were stagnant, waiting to learn their fate. But Polis, Polis was alive with politics, threats, and dangers.

“What happened between you and the Commander?” Octavia asked. She remembered the tension that she had seen between them. And she remembered the way that Clarke had seemed to influence Lexa, even without saying anything. When Lexa had declared that blood would not have blood, those were Clarke’s words coming out of Lexa’s mouth.

“Nothing.” Clarke said. It wasn’t a total lie. Nothing had actually happened between them, but that didn’t mean that they didn’t want something to happen.

“Bullshit. I saw the way that you looked at her, and the way that she looked at you. You’re in love with her aren’t you?” Octavia asked, there was no bitterness in her voice. She was trying to move on from her anger, there was no point in it now. Clarke didn’t answer right away, but her silence spoke volumes.

“It doesn’t matter.” Clarke’s voice quivered as she said the words.

“What are you talking about? It’s the only thing that matters. She feels the same way about you, she wouldn’t have done all of this if she didn’t.” Octavia insisted.

“And it almost got her killed. Multiple times. Loving me is just going to get her killed. That’s why I left. She was willing to go against her own kill order to keep me safe so that I could stay in Polis. But, if she did that, I’m pretty sure we know what would have happened.” Clarke turned to Octavia. Octavia didn’t have to listen to this, but she was and Clarke appreciated it more than she could ever express. Octavia was the only one that would understand.

“I don’t think that you can just turn that stuff off.”

“I didn’t say goodbye.” Octavia heard Clarke’s voice break and saw the tears begin to fall. It was a silent cry; Clarke didn’t sob but the tears fell despite her effort to stop them.

“I’m sure she’ll forgive you for that. She knows that you were needed here.” Tentatively wrapping her arm around Clarke’s shoulder Octavia pulled Clarke close.

“Thank you for this.” Clarke whispered wiping the tears from her eyes.

“We’re here for each other.” Came Octavia’s response.

Clarke didn’t sleep that night. She laid down with the attempt to try and get a few hours so that she could be mentally sharp for the negotiations the following day. But as she lay in bed staring up at the ceiling of her room, the metal of the Ark walls was such a sharp contrast to the walls of her room in Polis. Finally giving up on even trying to sleep Clarke took to walking the halls of the Ark. It was claustrophobic and cold. She was slowly starting to realize that she didn’t belong in Arkadia anymore, the Sky People may be her people and she would do anything for them. But, if she ever hoped to be truly happy again it wouldn’t be within the walls of Arkadia.

* * *

They all heard the drums first, it was just after midday, and they had been making the preparations for the Grounders arrival. The sound of rhythmic drumming carried along the wind and grew louder and louder with each passing moment. All of Arkadia came to stand along the borders and watch. Marcus shifted uneasily, the Chancellors pin weighing on him.

“Do you think they’ll want to negotiate here?” Abby asked.

“I don’t know.” Marcus answered. He had been going over in his head what he would say to Lexa. He knew that she was a visionary, and a strong proponent for peace. But with everything that had happened between their people, there was a lot that they owed Lexa.

When the first Grounders became visible in the distance there were loud murmurs among everyone. Lexa had brought with her the entire army. The green grass of the plane was covered by hundreds of grounders. Clarke shifted anxiously in anticipation. She could see the red of Lexa’s sash and knew that the brunette led them.

“They’re coming to attack!” Someone shouted in alarm.

“No they do not!” Marcus replied loudly.

Lexa saw the gates of Arkadia open and waiting for her and the rest of the delegation. Titus rode beside her, and behind them were several carts full of food. A peace offering, an unnecessary one since the Sky People were the one that needed convince the grounders that peace was worthy. But Lexa didn’t like the idea of an entire population starving. She didn’t want to think of Clarke going hungry. Clarke would not eat if she could give her food to someone else.

“You should let me go in first Heda.” Titus said.

“No, they need to see that the Commander of the twelve clans is not afraid.” Lexa answered without taking her eyes off Arkadia. They had modified their security since the last time Lexa had seen the camp. She still remembered it when it was still Camp Jaha. There were watch towers and the walls had walkways for their gun men to fire on any attackers. The walkway was empty, there were no gunmen on it now.

Lexa nudged her horse forward, Titus following her and then their guards. As they rode through the gates of Arkadia Lexa looked around warily. They were surrounded by Sky People, people that did not necessarily share in their leaderships hope for peace. When the food carts followed her Lexa heard the murmurs of curiosity. Lexa found Marcus waiting for him with Abby and a few others that she recognized.

“A peace offering from Polis.” Lexa announced dismounting her horse in front of Marcus. Marcus looked at the bountiful food and he was sure that he wasn’t the only one that felt his stomach rumble in response. They had been on strict rations for the past few weeks, they couldn’t grow food fast enough to supply their entire population.

“Thank you.” Marcus said daring a smile. Lexa nodded, her gaze once again looking around the camp. It didn’t take her long to fine Clarke, the blonde stood with her friends, she looked skinnier than Lexa would have liked, but as beautiful as she remembered.

“Should we begin negotiations?” Lexa asked. Titus had told her that she shouldn’t risk being out on the open as much as possible.

“Of course, if you’ll follow me.” Marcus said leading Lexa back towards the council chamber. Lexa instructed her guards to distribute the food that they had brought and make sure that no Sky Person went hungry.

Following Marcus into the council chamber Lexa squinted against the harsh light of the fluorescent lights that lit the room with a harsh artificial glow. Marcus offered Lexa a chair but she didn’t sit right away, instead she watched as people filed into the room. She was curious who would be privy to their negotiations. Abby was expected, as former chancellor and someone that the Skaikru respected, but when Clarke followed her mother into the room Lexa felt her body grow tense. She should have known better than to expect that Clarke would not be present.

“Thank you for coming Commander.” Marcus said genuinely.

“I am pleased to see your people have finally seen reason.” Lexa said sitting down finally and gesturing for everyone to do the same. Titus took his placed behind Lexa, his arms crossed.

“It took some time.”

“Six months.” Lexa’s gaze flicked to Clarke briefly and then went to Marcus. “I am told you wish to rejoin the coalition. Some of my advisors think that is unwise given how the last attempt at integrating Skaikru was.” Lexa’s tone was biting. Clarke wished Lexa would look at her, so that she would be able to see Lexa’s eyes. This went beyond Lexa’s usual stoicism.

“That was a mistake. WE have learned our lesson.” Marcus insisted.

“Have you? And what happens when the next chancellor is elected and they feel differently? We do this again?”

“That won’t happen again.” Clarke promised. Lexa glanced at Clarke for as long as she dared and then she looked away.

“No. It won’t. If Skaikru wishes to rejoin the coalition, there are conditions.”

“What kind of conditions?” Abby asked suspiciously.

“Skaikru leadership is no longer an elected office.”

“You can’t dictate to us how we run our people.” Abby said defiantly.

“Your people elected Pike to lead them ad his followers killed hundreds of my people without honor. Attacking children. Clearly your people’s judgement cannot be trusted. And I won’t let any more of my people die for Skaikru.” Lexa stated. Her voice hard and unwavering. Titus was proud of Lexa for the strength that she was showing.

“So you want to control who leads our people?” Abby pressed.

“No. Marcus will remain chancellor until his death, or until someone challenges him and wins.” Lexa answered. She didn’t have the time or energy to micromanage the way the clans in the coalition were run. She had to trust that they would be able to chose their own leadership. The problem was, she didn’t trust Skaikru. And until she did, she would need to be more hands on.

“Alright. What else?”

“Your weapons. You will surrender them. If any Skaikru is seen holding a gun it will be seen as an act of war.”

“You want to cripple us?”

“I want to avoid another slaughter. It is the only way that my people will accept yours. Once you are a part of the coalition, you will not require weapons because no one will attempt to harm any of your people. To act against you would be to act against me.” Lexa replied as comfortingly as possible.

“Anything else?”

“What has become of former chancellor Pike?” Lexa asked.

“He is in our holding cells with those of his followers who could not be made to see reason.”

“For how long?”

“We haven’t voted yet.”

“He is to be turned over to Trikru to pay for his crime. Including all those who still support him.”

“What kind of justice?” Abby asked.

“Blood must not have blood.” Clarke interrupted. She had been surprised by Lexa’s coldness. But she didn’t think that Lexa would go back on everything they had worked for.

“Blood will have blood. The other twelve clans demand it. For the pain and the trouble he has caused, he will pay for his crimes.” Lexa insisted.

“And if we refuse?”

“If you refused, the army that waits outside your gate will march on this camp and kill everyone inside it.” Titus said. Marcus turned towards Titus, they had kind of forgotten that he was there.

“If you refuse, you will not be allowed into the collation. There will be no peace and I won’t be able to stop it this time.” Lexa added.

“So, a few lives for peace? Seems oddly familiar.” Clarke said her voice hard. She was disappointed in Lexa, how quickly Lexa had abandoned everything that they worked for.

“If you want peace. This is the way that it has to be.” Lexa said, she knew that Clarke would not accept that this was the way that it had to be. But, it was the only way that she could guarantee that Skaikru would be safe.

“Okay.”

“Marcus!”

“Think about it Abby, we would do the same thing. The laws on the Ark would have had him floated, our laws here on the ground would be something similar. This will bring us peace and our people will have food and protection again. Our people are hungry Abby, without the Commander’s support we won’t live through the winter and you know it. A few lives, for the lives of the rest of our people.” Marcus reasoned. Titus had to admit, he was impressed with how Marcus understood their reasoning.

“Once we have their deaths, we will have peace.” Lexa said. Clarke wondered if Lexa realized how much this scenario seemed like the last. But she didn’t think that it would be appropriate to point that out now.

“We’ll make the preparations.”

“I understand if your people do not wish to watch.” Lexa commented.

“I’m his chancellor, I’ll be there.” Marcus promised. He knew that it would be seen as weakness not to appear. Lexa stood slowly, that was when Clarke noticed there was something different. It was subtle, and Lexa was very good at pretending that she was fine. But Clarke knew Lexa too well.

“Commander, a word.” Clarke requested as Abby and Marcus turned to lead them out of the council room. Titus moved forward to intercept Clarke but Lexa stopped him with a raised hand.

“I will be outside.” Titus said.

Silence filled the room, oppressive and suffocating as they stood there staring at one another. The feelings that both of them had coming to the forefront of their minds with nothing else to distract them. There were a million things Clarke wanted to say. She searched for something that would make the fact that she had left less painful. They had both known that she had to go. But she felt like she left like a coward.

“I’m sorry.” Clarke said finally. It wasn’t nearly adequate enough but it was the only thing that she could settle on.

“Don’t be. You did what you had to do for your people.” Lexa said utterly detached even though the words made her fee nauseous.

“You know it wasn’t just that.’ Clarke said defensively.

“This is not about us Clarke. It would be wise to keep any emotional entanglements out of these negotiations.” Lexa walked around the table, trying to move past Clarke only to be stopped when she found that Clarke had grabbed her arms.

“I should have said goodbye.” Clarke whispered.

“But you didn’t.”

“What did they do to you?” Clarke asked. She couldn’t stand not knowing what had changed Lexa. It had taken time, but she had learned who Lexa was behind the mask of the Commander. She had seen Lexa vulnerable, and Lexa had started being more comfortable lowering her guard around Clarke when they were in private. But Clarke found that Lexa had yet to relax. Lexa dropped her head, she was trying so hard to not let Clarke’s presence affect her.

“Blood must not have blood failed Clarke. I fought for it, but it was a losing battle.”

“I know. I’m sorry that I left you to deal with that alone.”

“A Commander’s life is one spent alone Clarke.”

Clarke watched Lexa leave the room, despite wanting to follow Lexa. To make right what had happened she couldn’t get her legs to cooperate. She just stood, staring for a long time before she was able to force herself to leave the room. As she entered the hallway she found that Titus was waiting for her.

“You broke her.” Titus said in his low voice. Clarke came to a stop, turning towards him.

“I didn’t mean to.” Clarke whispered.

“We never mean to hurt the ones we care for.”

“What happened to her?”

“Love is weakness. When you left, she had to face the ambassadors to prove that she was not weak. They felt your influence had weakened her. Finally, she allowed them to tie her to a tree and take the punishment they thought appropriate. Twelve cuts, one for every clan that felt wronged by her.” Titus had been made to watch it happen, Lexa had ordered that he do nothing to interfere even though it was his job to make sure that she did not come to any harm. This needed to be done.

“God, I’m so sorry.”

“If you care for her, you will not tempt her into weakness again.”

 

**Thoughts?**


	2. II

**Rated for mature audiences. You've been warned. :-)**

 

II

_“I swear fealty to you Clarke Kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own. And your people, as my people._

Lexa remembered how those words tasted on her tongue, the charged air that surrounded them when she looked unwavering into Clarke’s eyes. Heda bows for no one, and yet in that moment Lexa chose to bow before Clarke. It was a vow that had almost cost her, her life. But she didn’t regret speaking those sacred words. And that was what drew Lexa away from her bed in the darkest part of the night.

“Should Titus come searching for me, tell him I am with Wanheda.” Lexa told her guards as she passed them. One remained dutifully to relay the message while the other followed her. the two moved quietly through the brush that separated their camp from the towering structure of Arkadia. Lit as bright as the sun with their fake lights.

As a sign of friendship and trust, Marcus had ordered that the front gate be left open, and aside from the three sentry guards that patrolled the perimeter, Arkadia was unguarded. Lexa didn’t really care if they alerted Marcus or Abby that she was there.

“Where is Clarke?” Lexa asked, her voice steady. You would not know that it was the middle of the night, she spoke as if her presence was expected and totally normal for the middle of the night. She may have been lacking her war paint but she looked just as fierce as she always did.

“Why?” The Arkadia guard asked suspiciously. Lexa’s jaw tightened, she supposed that she should be pleased that they weren’t simply just allowing her to roam the camp. But, she didn’t like being questioned. Especially when she was tired, and irritable and she just needed to speak with Clarke so that for one night she could have peace of mind.

“If you do not wish to tell me where she is, retrieve her for me.” Lexa said. She wasn’t looking to start an international incident with her desire to see Clarke. But her patience was wearing thin. Her guard’s patience was already non-existent, and when the Arkadia guard still showed no sign of moving he pulled his sword and brought its edge to the guard’s throat as incentive.

The guard’s head bobbed slightly, in what Lexa chose to take as his acquiescence.  And without any further hesitation he jogged into the Ark. Minutes later the guard reappeared, this time with Clarke following him. She was dressed for sleep, but judging from the dark circles under Clarke’s eyes, the blonde had not been sleeping

“Le-Commander?” Clarke cursed the almost slip up of using Lexa’s name instead of her title. She was surprised to see Lexa. From the coldness she had encountered from the brunette during their meetings she thought that Lexa wouldn’t want to see her unless absolutely necessary.

“May we speak in private?” Lexa asked finally.

“Sure.” Clarke shot a glance at the guard before turning around and leading Lexa through the living quarters. They passed door after door in silence before stopping in front of Clarke’s door. She’d moved out of her mom’s living quarters when she realized she was keeping Abby awake with her nightmares. Lexa followed Clarke inside the modest dwelling. A small cot sized bed lay to one side, disheveled, where Clarke had spent most of the night tossing and turning while she tried to quiet her mind. There was a small desk on the other side of the room that was littered with papers and half finished sketches.

“You sleep here?” Lexa asked. She wasn’t trying to be judgmental but she couldn’t imagine Clarke living in such a place. When Clarke had been in the capital, Lexa had seen to it that Clarke be given one of the larger and more luxurious rooms. This room seemed too confining, not worthy of someone like Clarke.

“Not much.” Clarke answered with a humorless laugh, shifting awkwardly as she watched Lexa inspect her room.

“Nightmares?” Lexa didn’t need to ask. She knew that Clarke was plagued with them just as much as she was. when you had seen as many horrors as the two of them had, sleep was a luxury they didn’t have. “I could not sleep.” She said finally.

“Nightmares?” Clarke parroted. It was rare that Lexa confessed to having nightmares. She always came up with another explanation for her nocturnal habits.

“No. Just a restless mind.” Lexa offered easily. Her fingers dancing over some of the Knick knacks Clarke had accumulated. A stapler, a matchbox car, things that meant nothing and yet meant so much.

“Would you tell me if I asked?” Clarke wondered aloud. Lexa was silent for a moment, contemplating her answer. Had Clarke asked six months ago when they were both still in Polis, Lexa probably would have answered. They had reached a point where Lexa trusted Clarke’s council more than most. But things were different now. As the silence stretched on between them Clarke felt the weight of guilt as it settled into her stomach. She did this. They both knew that Clarke had to go back to her people, but she didn’t have to leave the way that she did, she didn’t have to make it seem like she was abandoning Lexa.

“I’m sorry for how I left.” Clarke said finally. She couldn’t take the silence anymore. And she needed Lexa to know she was sorry for running away. Leaving so much between them unsaid. “Titus told me what they did to you. What you let them do to you.” Clarke pressed. Looked away, she didn’t want to talk about this.

“It is in the past Clarke.”

“That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t effect you. They cut you Lexa, you let them tie you to a tree and _cut_ you.” Clarke explained, realizing how loud her voice was getting and forcing herself to calm down.

“What would you have had me do? If it wasn’t me, it would have been…” Lexa stopped. They both knew what Lexa was going to say, and Clarke hated to admit that she wasn’t surprised.

“Me. They would have taken their punishment out on me.” Clarke stated. The idea was terrifying; she couldn’t imagine standing immobilized while the ambassadors cut at her.

“I could not let that happen.” Lexa confessed. Titus had begged Lexa to let the ambassadors take their vengeance out on Clarke for the sins of her people. He promised that they would not kill her. But blood needed to be satisfied. But she refused to allow it, she couldn’t stomach the idea of it.

“You don’t have to protect me Lexa. Your people are right to want justice for what was done.” Lexa’s gaze flashed with fury, stalking towards Clarke like a predator. Startled at the sudden change in demeanor Clarke backed against the wall but Lexa kept coming. Swallowing nervously, Clarke felt the power of Lexa’s gaze burn straight down into her soul.

“If they had touched you, I would have torn them apart with my bare hands.” Lexa growled. Clarke was stunned silent at Lexa’s words. Lexa had finally let her stoic façade fall and underneath was Lexa, not Heda, but just Lexa. And Clarke would be lying if she said she didn’t think that Lexa standing in front of her, giving into her anger and rage, was the hottest thing she’d ever seen.

It took a moment for Clarke to realize that Lexa was trembling, she didn’t know if it was out of anger or if it was something else. But Lexa stood in front of her, every muscle in her body taut, like she was ready to fight or maybe do something else. Lexa’s lips crashed into Clarke’s suddenly, swallowing Clarke’s surprised gasp and using that to slip her tongue between the blonde’s parted lips. There was nothing gentle about Lexa’s kiss. It was pure hunger and pent up want finally being released.

Clarke didn’t even think, her body moving on it’s own. Her hands going to Lexa’s hair, tangling in thick braids keeping Lexa’s lips from moving away. Lexa dominated the kiss like Clarke always knew she would, but that didn’t mean that she was going to give up trying to take control.

Lexa hissed when she felt Clarke’s fingers tighten around her hair at the base of her neck. It was Clarke’s way of attempting to steal control, how she knew that dragging her blunt fingernails across Lexa’s scalp made the brunette weak in the knees Lexa didn’t know. But she couldn’t afford to let Clarke find out. Running her hands down Clarke’s sides, feeling Clarke shiver against her. Lexa gripped the back of Clarke’s thighs and lifted her effortlessly and pinned her against the wall. _Hard._

They were rapidly losing control of themselves. Lexa was moments away from ravishing Clarke, and Clarke was going to let her. Especially with the way that Lexa was able to rest Clarke’s weight against her hip so that one of her hands was free to roam. And it did. First at the hem of Clarke’s shirt and then underneath, nails running along hypersensitive skin along the small of Clarke’s back.

Tearing her lips away from Lexa’s, a strangled moan tore from Clarke’s throat as she leaned against the wall and feeling it’s contrasting coolness on her heated skin. Lexa’s lips moved to Clarke’s neck, attacking it, determined to mark Clarke for the whole world to see. When she bit down on the juncture between Clarke’s shoulder and neck, she hummed her approval feeling Clarke rock desperately against her.

“Ai gaf yu in.” _I want you_. Lexa whispered hotly against Clarke’s skin, her control gone and she stood a slave to the desire she had denied herself for so long.

“Lexa.” Clarke whispered, afraid to open her eyes because she knew she would see Lexa’s eyes blown wide with desire. Lexa paused in her assault on Clarke’s neck, allowing for some sense of clarity to return to their minds. But Clarke couldn’t fight the raging arousal that was currently gathering between her legs. The friction caused by Lexa pressed tightly against her didn’t help.

Lexa was about to bring their lips back together when there was a loud knock on Clarke’s door. It seemed to echo in the small room forcing both girls to stare at the door as if it had betrayed them. Soon the knock repeated and this time came with Abby’s voice asking Clarke to open the door.

“Fuck.” Clarke said running her fingers through her hair trying to get her hormones under control while Lexa let her down gently, still holding her hips when Clarke swayed unsteadily. Clarke tried to straighten her clothes and look like they hadn’t just been about to have sex before being interrupted, while Lexa stood proudly and unapologetically disheveled.

Pulling open the door Clarke squinted against the brightness of the hallway. Abby stood with her arms crossed, eyebrow raised in silent question. Clarke’s cheeks flushed bright red, this time having nothing to do with arousal and everything to do with being caught by her mother.

“The Commander is here?” Technically it was phrased as a question, but Abby knew the answer.

“Unofficial visit.” Clarke said surprised that she was able to sound almost normal, though her voice was an octave or so lower than usual. She could see Lexa smirk out of the corner of her eye.

“Don’t you think that’s risky given the tension going on?” Abby asked disapprovingly. Giving Lexa a sharp glare. She wasn’t thinking as a former chancellor, she was thinking as a protective mother and it didn’t matter who Lexa was. Clarke was her daughter and Abby was not going to approve of anyone in Clarke’s room after hours.

“Mom.” Clarke started when she felt Lexa’s hands on the small of her back.

“Abby is right. I should go.” Lexa said now perfectly composed. All signs of the unrestrained beast that was about to tear Clarke’s clothes off was gone.

“Commander.” Abby greeted Lexa formally.

“Doctor Griffin.” Lexa said with a slight bow of her head as she moved passed Abby into the hallway. Pausing just passed the older woman Lexa turned and met Clarke’s incredulous gaze. Her mask of Commander firmly in place. “Good night Ambassador.”

Clarke watched Lexa until the brunette had disappeared around a corner. And then her attention turned to Abby. Both women stood in silence expectation. Clarke well aware of Abby’s judgement.

“You need to be more careful.” Abby said finally.

“Why? We weren’t doing anything wrong. Our people are at peace now.” Clarke insisted turning back into her room knowing that Abby would follow her.

“And we can’t afford to allow a tryst with the commander to jeopardize that.” Clarke stared at her mother in utter disbelief.

“Ignoring for the fact that you just belittled my relationship with Lexa by calling it a tryst. ‘We’? what we? You act as if you had any part in this peace. But you didn’t. none of you fought for it, bled for it like Lexa and I did. _We_ gave everything for it. We deserve the benefits _we_ earned.” Clarke seethed. How dare Abby take this from her. trying to imply that she had any say in the alliance, she didn’t. they didn’t work for it. They hadn’t risked everything for it.

Abby dropped her gaze, having the decency to look sheepish. Clarke was right. Clarke deserved to be happy. She had heard it. But Abby would be lying if she thought that Lexa was the one that could give that to Clarke. Their relationship would never be easy. Lexa would only cause Clarke pain in the end and Clarke couldn’t see that.

“Clarke-.”

“You should go.” Clarke said uninterested in anything that Abby had to say. Abby silently turned and left Clarke’s room. One step forward for them, and two steps back.

* * *

 

“So I hear someone had a late night visitor.” Octavia said falling into the seat across from Clarke at breakfast. Clarke looked up from her untouched food at the younger brunette and saw Octavia grinning like the Cheshire cat. It made Clarke feel like their friendship might be mending if Octavia was willing to tease her like this. 

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Why the Hell not? Both of you need to get laid.” Octavia said matter of factly.

“Who needs to get laid?” Raven asked sitting beside Clarke and promptly stealing a piece of bacon.

“The Commander visited Clarke last night, but apparently it ‘wasn’t like that’.” Octavia said emphasizing her disbelief with air quotes.

“Why not? We all know you wanna bone her.”

“Jesus Christ is everyone talking about my nonexistent sex life now?” Clarke exclaimed louder than she meant to if the turned heads at a nearby table were any indication.

“Well they will be now.” Raven laughed.

“I thought you both hated Lexa.”

“She didn’t kill us. She may not be my favorite person in the world. But I don’t hate her.” Raven said with a shrug.

“So, you and the Commander. If it wasn’t doing the nasty, what was it?” Octavia prompted. Clarke hadn’t been able to sleep after Abby had left. But instead of clinging to the anger her mother inspired, she allowed herself to relive her experience with Lexa. The taste of Lexa’s lips still lingered on her tongue. The ghost of Lexa’s mouth on her skin, she still felt the bite Lexa had left on her collar bone. Her body flushed with heat just thinking about it.

“Wow, must have been a whole lot of nothing.” Raven teased when Clarke didn’t answer.

“We kissed.”

“And…”

“And it was the best kiss I’ve ever experienced.” Clarke confessed finally. Limited though her experience might have been, Clarke was sure that she would never find a better kisser than Lexa. It was passionate and hungry but there was a gentleness that Lexa was able to convey too.

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

“I’m torn.”

“Between tearing her clothes off now or waiting until you can make it more respectable and have her make an honest woman out of you?” Octavia asked.

“We’re not exactly allowed to act on our wants. We answer to our people first.” Clarke said sadly. It was going to be a constant plague on her and Lexa’s relationship. No matter what they did, they would always have to put their people before themselves. And it wasn’t fair.

“Float them Clarke.”

“What?”

“Float them. You’ve done everything to ensure our survival. Since we landed you’ve kept us alive. Even when we didn’t want t listen. With the Grounders and then with the Mountain Men, at the Mountain and after. You don’t owe them anything anymore.” Raven insisted.

“She’s right Clarke. We don’t owe them anything anymore.” Octavia agreed.

“They’re our people.” Clarke said as her only rebuttal. But she didn’t know if she believed that anymore. She had watched as they had treated Octavia as if she were a lower citizen, if it wasn’t because she was in a relationship with Lincoln, it was because she was a second born. And Raven, they pushed and they pushed Raven to fix things, to make things that only she could, but they never thanked her for it. They expected her to continue to keep things running on the Ark with duct tape and hope.

“But are you happy here?” Raven asked. It was rhetorical, even if Clarke lied and said she was, they knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t.

“Polis is no picnic either.” Clarke offered.

“True, but Polis has its perks.” Octavia hinted strongly, Clarke couldn’t help but laugh at her friend.

“You guys should come with me to Polis. I think we could all use a chance to get away from here for a while.” Clarke suggested. She knew that convincing Octavia to go would be simple enough, but Raven was still wary of the grounders and their world.

“Yea, maybe.” Raven said softly.

* * *

 

“What were you thinking?” Titus demanded in a low voice, Lexa didn’t respond to his scolding question as she continued to get dressed for the day. Titus had learned that Lexa had gone to Arkadia during the night and had gone to confront Lexa about it immediately. 

“I do not need permission Titus.” Lexa reminded her teacher. Sometimes she thought that Titus forgot his place. When she was a Night blood, it had been his job to train her, he was her instructor and mentor. The closest thing to a father she was allowed. But now, she was Heda and he answered to her.

“I thought that you had realized that what you feel for Clarke is weakness. It will only cause trouble for you Heda.” Titus said.

“I remember your teachings Titus. I respect them, but life should be about more than just surviving. ‘Love is weakness’, and ‘to be Commander is to be alone are philosophies’ born of war. We are no longer at war. We must adapt to a new way of thinking.” Titus regarded the young woman before him, once again awed by her. Lexa was truly a visionary. He had served a number of Commander’s before her and they had all had their strengths but he had never known one like Lexa. She didn’t just have the potential for greatness, she already possessed it.

“She means that much to you?”

“I wish I could explain it to you Titus. But I do not think there are words that could do it justice. She doesn’t make me weak, she makes me strong, she makes me strive to be better.”

Titus said nothing, he knew better than to argue with her over this. And they had more important things to discuss. There was much to do. This would be the day that justice was served to the people of the coalition. Pike would be killed and his body given to the families of those he slaughtered.

“What are you going to do with the boy?” Titus asked finally. He knew that Lexa still had not made her mind up about what to do with Bellamy. His part in the massacre could not go ignored. He may have allowed Indra to live, but he did not stop the slaughter. He was as guilty as Pike and there were many who wished for his head.

“I wish to speak to Bellamy before I make my decision.”

“Why Heda?”

“Without him, the mountain never would have fallen.”

“One good deed does not alleviate his guilt.”

“He will pay for the part he played in the deaths. I just have not decided if his payment should be his life.” Lexa answered softly **.**

 

**Next chapter we'll see more Lincoln, Lexa and Bellamy have a chat, Pike faces justice, and more Clarke and Lexa. Stay tuned.**


	3. III

III

_Lexa stood from her throne, the same grace and sense of regality that she always had when she stood in this room. But as she descended the stairs towards the post that had been erected Lexa didn’t feel like Heda. Though she would never admit it to anyone, she was scared. As Titus reverently removed her armor until she was standing in a thin cotton shirt and her trousers, she stared at the post that would soon be stained black with her blood. The ambassadors stood around her, each of them holding a knife in their hands._

_With a deep, steadying breath she stepped towards the post and pressed her back against it. They wouldn’t tie her too it, she was doing this willingly. Titus stepped forward, the look in his eye telling her that it wasn’t to late for her to call this off. She could still change her mind and allow the ambassadors to turn their anger where it rightfully belonged. But she wouldn’t. This was her choice._

_“Trigedakru.” Titus said turning towards Indra, Lexa had insisted that Indra be the representative of their clan. Indra had more reason than any of them to demand blood. Still the General looked hesitant. Looking to Lexa for permission, Lexa nodded once telling Indra that it was alright. The pain that would be inflicted she could withstand. So, the General came forward, knife held firmly in her grasp._

_Taking a deep breath as she prepared herself for the pain Lexa bit down on her cheek to keep from making a sound as Indra drug her blade along Lexa’s collar bone producing a thick stream of blackened blood that rolled down Lexa’s front. Lexa’s vision blurred with tears as she grabbed the post behind her to keep her upright. She couldn’t make a sound. This was her chance to prove to her ambassadors that she was still their Heda. That she was still worthy of their trust and their support because she wasn’t weak. She was willing to spill the blood that had been lost due to her faith in the Sky People. If she did not, they would still find her to be weak. The alliance would crumble._

_“Azgeda.”_

_The Ice Nation ambassador was not so kind. His blade cut Lexa’s leg, no doubt in hopes that she would fall to her knees before him. The look of disappointment in his eye when she remained standing was an added boost to her resolve. She could taste the metallic coating of her blood on her tongue from where she had bit into her cheek, but she didn’t feel the pain of that. She could only feel the sting of the cuts she’d been given. Two out of twelve._

_“Floundonkru.”_

_Three out of Twelve._

_“Sangedakru.”_

_Four out of Twelve._

_“Podakru.”_

_Five out of Twelve._

_Lexa could hear the strain in Titus’ voice as he called out the fifth clans name. She knew that it must be difficult for him to see this. It had never been done before. But when the coalition had been created, Lexa had said that this was an alternative to the ambassadors’ calling for a vote of no confidence. The ambassadors knew that Lexa was a good Commander, she had brought peace to the twelve clans and was close to bringing peace with the Sky People. But they could not allow what had happened to go unanswered. Blood must have blood._

_“Delfikru.”_

_Lexa was getting dizzy, from blood loss or pain she wasn’t sure. But she was leaning against the post behind her with more and more of her weight. She was sure that it was the only thing that was keeping her upright. And they were only half way through. But she had to make it through this. She had to be strong, for her people, for the Sky People, for Clarke._

_“Trishanakru.”_

_Seven out of Twelve._

_“Ingranronakru.”_

_Eight out of Twelve._

_Lexa’s chest heaved, the skin not covered in blood was covered in a thick layer of sweat as she strained to just keep herself conscious. She didn’t even feel the cuts anymore. At least she wasn’t sure if she did. Everything hurt, it felt like every bit of her skin burned and ached. So she couldn’t really tell where the new cuts were being given. She tried to remember what Titus had told her about meditating. Hoping that she could distract herself from it._

_“Ouskejon Kru.”_

_Nine out of Twelve._

_Hearing the sound of shuffling Lexa forced her head sideways. Through blurred vision she saw Aden shifting from where he stood with the other Nightbloods. She could see the fight in his eyes. He wanted to stop them, to intervene and tell them that they could not hurt her anymore. She saw the same look in all the Nightbloods. Taking a deep breath, and calling on all the strength of the former Commanders Lexa locked eyes with Aden._

_“Ste Yuj Aden.” She forced the words out in as steady a tone as she could. She needed him to set an example for the others. They looked to him for leadership._

_“Louwoda Kliron Kru.”_

_Ten out of Twelve._

_“Boudalan Kru.”_

_Eleven out of Twelve._

_“Yujleda kru.”_

_Twelve._

_Lexa slumped against the post. She had done it. Titus moved forward quickly, pulling Lexa away from the post and wrapping her Commander’s coat around her shoulders. She wished she hadn’t. The weight of the coat causing agony to spread through her body._

_“It is done!” Titus announced. Lexa looked around the room, she needed the ambassadors to see so that they could relay the messages to their clan leaders. Each of them stood in awe of what they had just seen. One by one they dropped to their knees before her acknowledging her as their rightful leader.  
_

* * *

The morning promised to be a beautiful day. The sky was already a wash of reds, oranges, pinks and yellows before the sun even broke over the horizon. It was the day of justice. Her warriors had spent the night preparing the tree where Pike would draw his las breath. As she had walked through her camp she heard them as they took wagers on if he would die before or after the severing of his limbs. The running theory was that he wouldn’t even make it that long. He was a Sky Person, which meant weakness. Lexa only wished that they knew the Sky People the way that she had come to know them. See them as she saw them. Weakness was never a word she would use to describe them.

She was going now to claim the ripa, to take him with her as the price of peace between her people and Clarke’s. She only hoped that the hand over would be a simple one. But she knew better than to trust that hope. Walking into Arkadia, there was a different mood to it, she felt it as soon as she walked into the courtyard. The Sky People looked at her warily, distrusting. They knew why she was there and they were not pleased. It made her guards uneasy, most of them holding the hilts of their swords prepared for an attack should one come.

“Commander.” Marcus greeted with a polite nod.

“I am here for the one you call Pike.” Lexa announced formally.

“This way.” She followed him into the Ark. A different section then where she had been before when she had visited Clarke. But where she was brought was not to the cell where Pike was kept. When the door opened Lexa saw Abby and Clarke standing around a small table.

“What is this?” Lexa demanded.

“We wanted to talk to you before handing Pike over to you.” Abby stated. She and Kane had talked about it for much of the morning. They both knew Pike, they had known him on the Ark and knew that this was not the type of man that he was. Neither of them wanted to hand him over, not just to be executed but to be tortured.

“What is there to talk about? We had an agreement.” Lexa stated looking between Marcus and Clarke. Clarke averted her eyes, she had told them that Lexa wasn’t going to like that they were going to suggest a re-negotiation. But they had overruled her. Telling her that they at least had to try.

“We can’t let you torture him.” Abby insisted.

“Blood must have blood. It is our way, and the only way for us to have peace.”

“Surely there must be something that you can do. You’re the Commander.” Marcus pleaded.

“I have already done all that I am willing to do for your people. It is time for your people to do some of the bleeding.” Lexa answered.

“What Pike did was wrong, we understand that. But what you are looking to do to him is torture. Burning him, taking his hands and feet, tongue, and then cutting him until he bleeds to death? Surely you can see the savagery in that.” Clarke winced at her mother’s words, she knew that they would only spark Lexa’s anger. Before Lexa could speak Clarke stepped forward.

“Pike killed hundreds of Lexa’s warriors while they slept. What he did had no honor, Lexa is being generous enough.” Clarke hoped that her mother would see reason. She couldn’t think that her mother would actually defy Lexa, going back on their agreement and taking the olive branch that Lexa was willing to give them, and breaking it into a hundred pieces.

“They want to torture him Clarke. That isn’t our way.”

“Who is to say that our way is better than theirs? Pike needs to pay for that. Do you understand what Lexa has done for us? And this is all she is asking for. It’s not easy, its not ideal. But it’s one death and that one death is going to prevent the extermination of our people. When you were on the Ark, you and the council decided that you would send 100 children down to earth because it was what was needed to prolong the lives of the many. You didn’t know what waited for us down here, we could have died from radiation, a death we both know is horrific. But it was needed right? The same principles apply here.” Abby was stunned at her daughter’s argument. She couldn’t deny that Clarke had a point. She didn’t want to watch Pike being tortured.

Lexa met Clarke’s gaze with an appreciative nod. Lexa knew that it would be hard for Clarke to side with her over her people. Everything that Clarke had done for her people and she was still being challenged by people who thought that they could do better because they were older. She knew that Abby meant well. But Clarke was getting tired of being doubted.

“Things were supposed to be different on the ground.” Abby insisted, she already knew that she wasn’t going to win, she’d reconciled the fact that Pike was going to die.

“You do not have to watch the execution. It is not for you anyway. In fact, I insist that you not come.” Lexa said. Looking at Clarke, sure that her eyes told Clarke that Lexa meant her too. This was something that her people needed in order to heal. And she could not risk anything jeopardizing it. Clarke could cheat the warriors out of their justice this time.

“Commander, we won’t cause a scene.”

“I cannot risk that. Have Pike brought to me, immediately.” Lexa commanded. Clarke watched as Lexa turned and walked out the way that she had come.

Throwing her hands up in the air Clarke turned to face her mother, her eyes blazing.

“I’ve had enough.” Clarke stated.

“Clarke-.”

“No. I have had enough of this. Chance after chance she has given us, and at every turn you just keep pushing it. If you had any idea what she has done for us. What she has sacrificed. You think that she is cruel for doing what she doing to Pike. She let her ambassadors do the same thing to her. Obviously, not the full extent of what they plan to do to Pike. She let her ambassadors tie her to a post and cut her.” Clarke’s voice broke as she divulged this information to them. She wasn’t even sure why she was telling them, other than she needed them to know. She needed them to see what Lexa had done for them so that they would stop questioning her.

“Why would she let them do that?” Abby asked, arms crossed.

“So they wouldn’t do it to me.” Abby’s eyes widened, shock stealing her ability to speak. They wanted to torture Clarke.

“Why would they do that to you?”

“Because our people are responsible for the massacre of her army. I am still the ambassador of our people. They would punish me if they couldn’t get to Pike. She stood in my place.”

Clarke wanted them to understand how big of a deal that was. Lexa put her life on the line so that Clarke wouldn’t have to suffer. She willingly allowed herself to be cut twelve times by people who were angry with her. Lexa could have died. And just the thought of it made Clarke sick. It made her want to run after Lexa just so that Lexa could hold her close and convince her that she was really okay.

“I had no idea.” Abby finally forced out. Realizing that there would never be anything that she could do to thank Lexa for what she did for Clarke.

“Next time you want to question her motives, or ask anything more from her then what she has already given. Don’t.”

When Clarke walked out of the Ark, she looked around, hoping that Lexa might still be around. She wasn’t surprised when she didn’t find the brunette anywhere. No doubt Lexa was on her way back to her camp to finish the preparations. A commotion behind her distracted her, and her attention was drawn to where Pike was being escorted by Lexa’s guards. His hands bound behind him. There was a silence that had fallen over Arkadia. Some of the people still thought that Pike shouldn’t be handed over to the grounders. But no one said anything.

It only took a few hours for the screams to start. They were faint at first, and only every once and a while. But then they grew in volume and in frequency. And no one in Arkadia could pretend that they didn’t know what was happening. It was shortly after nightfall when there was silence again. Night had never been so silent. Clarke walked through the gate towards the grounder camp and she saw the pyre lit.

“It’s done.” Clarke whispered. She didn’t know she had been followed until she felt someone’s hand on her shoulder. When she glanced over her shoulder she saw Octavia standing behind her.

“You’ve brought peace Clarke.” Octavia offered softly.

“Let’s hope it lasts.”

* * *

 

Lexa watched as the pyre burned, the people around her chanted her name. She had brought vengeance to her people. Allowing blood to satisfy blood. And now it was over. Lexa didn’t understand what she was feeling now. She had been angry when she left Arkadia, angry that Abby had challenged her. Furious that the Sky People had tried to go back on their word. It was becoming a constant with them. She gave and she gave, trying to make amends for abandoning them at the mountain. She kept trying to keep true to the oath that she had made to Clarke. But they were making it so _hard._

In the morning, the army would head back to their homes. Some would go back to Polis; others would go back to their lands. But she could not return yet. She still had unfinished business. There was still someone in Arkadia that needed judgement. She needed to figure out what she was going to do with Bellamy. She knew that she should kill him, he should face the same punishment as Pike. Because he was responsible for Pike gaining power. The people that he had killed, it right that he should go unpunished. But with Bellamy it was different.

Bellamy was one of Clarke’s closest friends. Even after everything that had happened between them, Clarke still cared about Bellamy. Because Clarke didn’t stop caring about people, she didn’t know how to stop caring. Bellamy was also Octavia’s brother, even if Octavia understood what needed to happen that didn’t mean that she would accept that they were going to kill the only blood relation that she had. But no one had provided her with a valid reason why she should spare Bellamy. If she was going to give him his life, she would need something more to offer her people. Mercy was not a quality Commanders were supposed to have.

Most of her warriors would have forgotten about Bellamy. Pike was the one that they wanted. They wanted his blood and they were satisfied that they had it. But Titus wouldn’t let her forget.

And since the attempt on her life by a member of the Trikru, he had been more adamant that she heeds his warnings that she had to be strong. Her position was still fragile; her strength had been questioned too many times and she had to be careful.

“You could have him banished.” Titus suggested.

“To the wastelands?”

“Out of the options before you, banishment seems to be the most merciful.” Lexa nearly laughed at the way that Titus could make a word that meant something so benevolent sound so despicable.

“I will consider it.”

“You mean that you will ask Clarke what she wishes to do with Bellamy?”

“You do not like Clarke, but you will learn to respect her Flamekeeper.” The warning in her tone was as clear as day. Still, Titus pushed.

“She is your weakness Heda. You did not ever stray from your path before her.”

“My path? I have not strayed from my path. Clarke has only helped me along the path that has been set before me. If you were not blinded by your hatred for her, you would see that. She is not going anywhere Titus. So I suggest you make your peace with her.” Lexa said with an air of finality in her tone that shook Titus.

“Do you know who it is that you give your heart Heda?”

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked warily.

“Before she was taken by King Roan and brought to the Capital, she was in the bed of another.”

Lexa felt her heart stop for a moment as the words sank in. She couldn’t explain why it hurt her so much to know that Clarke had been with someone else. Especially during the time when Clarke had hated her. Swallowing the lump in her throat Lexa tried to appear unaffected by the news that Titus brought. Why Titus felt the need to remind Lexa of all the pain that she had experienced, every moment or chance of happiness that she had been given was promptly stomped out by her teacher, she wasn’t sure which one was worse.

“Why do you tell me this Titus?” Lexa asked in a whisper.

“Because you need to know Heda. She will only bring you pain. The sooner you realize this, the better off you will be.”

“She owed me nothing at the time. We were not what we were now.”

“Does that make the hurt less?”

“Why do you wish to cause me such pain, teacher?” Lexa asked looking up at her teacher.

“Pain is the greatest teacher of them all.”

* * *

Lexa stood before Bellamy’s cell, she had yet to go in because she still wasn’t sure what she was planning to do. Titus was right, banishment would satisfy the blood that he owed her people. Banishment to the wastelands would all but ensure his death. And should he, by some miracle survive the desert he would no longer be a problem to her. No one ever came back from the wastelands. But her anger still raged when she thought of him. Knowing what it is that he had done to her army. That he had allowed it to happen, she would never forgive him for that. 

He didn’t deserve mercy. She could give it to him, but it wouldn’t be because of him, it would be because of Clarke. Because she couldn’t be responsible for adding another life that Clarke would blame herself for. There were already enough ghosts to haunt Clarke’s dreams, she didn’t want to add another one. Especially one who had been her friend, from what Lexa remembered, Bellamy and Clarke had led the original sky people when they landed. He had helped Clarke care for them, provided for them. He had helped them conquer the mountain. If she spared his life, she would be proving Titus right. Clarke was clouding her judgement.

Pulling the door open to the cell, Lexa walked inside. For it being in the middle of the day the cell was unnervingly dark. The only light coming from a small window that allowed the grey light from the sky to shine in. Bellamy’s shadow could be seen huddled sitting on the floor with his knee’s pulled up to his chest.

“The great Heda herself, come to reign judgement down upon me.” Bellamy mocked.

“Judgement that you deserve for the lives that you took.”

“I did what I had to do to protect my people, what would you have done?”

“I would have made sure they were my enemy before killing them.”

“They were grounders; they were the enemy.”

“You have such hatred for us now. Why?” Lexa knew that his hatred must come from somewhere other than just the mountain. His pain was too deep, too personal.

“Because our people died in the Mountain, the casualties of another one of your wars.”

“We warned your people not to go back in the Mountain. You didn’t listen.” Lexa stated. When she had heard that the Sky People were moving into the mountain she had sent warning. She had told them that they were not allowed to occupy the cursed place. But they persisted. Stating that they needed the medical equipment, they needed the technology to keep the Ark going. She had allowed it, with the warning that they were not to take up residence there. Her warning had been ignored and this had been the result.

“And that makes it okay?”

“Of course it doesn’t. I never would have harmed the people in the Mountain. But they should not have been there and because they were the Ice Nation had the perfect target.” Lexa’s voice rose as Bellamy stared defiantly at her. He was blaming her for deaths that were not her fault.

“My girlfriend, Gina. She was in the mountain.” Bellamy confessed finally. Even in his grief and anger he knew that what had happened wasn’t Lexa’s fault. He knew that even when they attacked the Grounder army. It wasn’t their fault that Gina had died and yet he was in so much pain he just wanted to punish someone. He needed to externalize it or it would eat him alive.

“Losing a loved one can sometimes blind us, make us lose our way. I understand that pain, more than you know. But that does not make you any less responsible for the lives you took.” Lexa said. Her memory flashing to Costia. She knew exactly how Bellamy felt, the need to lash out, the desire to seek revenge. She knew it all too well.

“So you’re going to kill me?” Bellamy asked, his eyes meeting hers again this time with nothing but pain behind them, pain and resignation. He was willing to accept the consequences for his actions.

“No.” Lexa said finally. She almost hadn’t realized she had spoken, her mind still debating what she was going to do. But the word slipped out of her mouth, and Lexa knew that was her decision. She couldn’t kill Bellamy, not when she saw a part of herself in him. She had wanted to do the same thing with the Ice Nation. And she would have, had she not had Anya, Gustus, and Titus there to convince her otherwise.

“You aren’t?”

“Like I said, I know what it is like to lose someone. I leave you to the judgement of your people. But, you are not to leave Arkadia. If you are found outside Arkadia’s walls, my people will not hesitate to seek their own vengeance and I will not stop them. Do you understand?” Bellamy nodded silently, watching as Lexa turned to leave. She hesitated at the door, her back still to him.

“It never stops hurting, but one day you will think of her and the memories will bring more joy than pain. I hope that day comes swiftly for you.”

And then she was gone.

* * *

Lexa exited the Ark, her heart racing and her stomach churning, she thought for a moment that she might pass out. She did not expect that her conversation with Bellamy would cause such a reaction. Finding a secluded corner Lexa leaned against the wall, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths in hopes that she could slow her heart and regain her composure. She had not wanted to sympathize with Bellamy. In fact, she was angry that they had common ground now. 

“Heda.” Lexa’s eyes opened and she saw Lincoln standing before her. The tall man stayed a respectful distance away, knowing that he had intruded on a private moment for her. But he had been looking for a time when he could approach her and speak with her without Titus or her guard around.

“Lincoln.”

“I heard you put a spear through the Ice Queen’s chest.” Lincoln said with a smirk. The tension between them gone instantly when Lexa returned his smile.

“I did.”

“Long overdue if you ask me.”

“I wish I had made it last longer, her fight ended too quickly.” That had been Lexa’s only regret about killing Nia. The fact that she died without feeling every bit of pain she had inflicted upon Costia.

“Costia wouldn’t have wanted you to torture. Not because of her.” Lincoln’s voice softened. The two had not had a chance to speak of Costia. Shortly after her death Lincoln had left Polis, sought out Luna and spent time with her. He needed to get away from everything that reminded him of Costia.

“I am sorry it took me so long to avenge her death.” Lexa said genuinely.

“I understand why you did. Revenge would have cost a war.”

“So you forgive me then?” Lexa asked. Everything between them had gone wrong after Costia’s death. The three had grown up together in Polis. Even though Lexa was a Nightblood and she had to attend to her lessons. Every spare moment it was the three of them causing trouble. Or rather, it was Lincoln and Lexa causing trouble and Costia being the voice of reason behind them.

“My sister’s death was not your fault.” Lincoln said finally, stepping closer to Lexa and staring her in the eye so that she could see the truth in his words. In that moment, she wasn’t the Commander, she wasn’t Heda Kom Kongeda. She was his friend.

“She was killed because she was mine.” Lexa answered her voice cracking as she swallowed her tears. Lincoln couldn’t deny that. He respected Lexa enough not to lie to her.

“But now it is over, she can rest in peace because her murder was avenged.”

“I have missed you Lincoln.” Lexa said once again looking at her friend.

“Maybe you would allow me to come back to Polis.” Lincoln said. Lexa’s eyebrow rose.

“Sha?”

“I thought I could make a home here, become one of them. But I’ll always be an outsider to them. I miss my people. I miss the markets and the games and the songs. I want to go back and see Polis again.” Lincoln could still remember every detail of the city, he remembered running through the crowded streets when he was a boy.

“Come home Lincoln. Perhaps Titus can finish your training.” Lexa said with a teasing smirk.

“Me? A flamekeeper?”

“You were his favorite pupil.”

“Was. Pretty sure he would kill me now.”

“Then it is a good thing that you are friends with the Commander.” Lincoln laughed, remembering all the times Lexa used to say that to Lincoln when they would get in trouble for doing things. She would always get him out of it because they were close. When Lincoln would abandon his studies and escape Titus’ ever watchful gaze only to cause trouble somewhere else. She would always get him out of it because she was the Commander.

* * *

News spread through Arkadia quickly that Lexa had spared Bellamy. But Clarke was a little surprised that she had to hear about it from Abby instead of from Lexa. Abby had thought that Clarke already knew when she started talking to Clarke about what they were going to do with Bellamy. Abby had been understanding when Clarke said that she needed to go find Lexa. Lexa was keeping herself busy going over details of Arkadia with Marcus. They were not fairing well, and Marcus was blunt about it. If they had any hope of surviving they would need help. Pike had insisted that they try and farm, but the weather and the ground had not allowed them to do that successfully and they had not been fairing well with hunting either. 

“So you have no food?” Lexa asked. Marcus nodded sadly.

“We have enough for everyone to have one meal a day for a month, tops. And that’s if some people don’t eat theirs and give it to others.”

“How could you allow it to get this bad?” Lexa wasn’t expecting an answer but she couldn’t keep the question to herself either.

“I know it’s asking a lot to hope that you’ll help us. But I’ve inherited a mess.”

“One that you watched happen Chancellor. You will not get sympathy from me for that.” Lexa stated harshly. Marcus dropped his head, properly scolded. Sometimes he forgot that he was a full grown man, and Lexa was just barely into adulthood and yet she had this presence that made him feel like he was a child and she was taking him to task.

“Your right.”

“I’ll help you. But, you understand that your people have put me in a difficult position with my people. I cannot be seen to show favor to Skaikru over the other clans.” Lexa offered.

“You’ve done so much for us. Anything more you give we would be exceedingly grateful.”

“You misunderstand Chancellor. It is not a gift I am offering, but a trade.” Marcus stared down at Lexa, wondering what she meant by trade. They had nothing that they could give her. That was half the problem. They were rapidly running out of medical supplies, they had no food, and no skills that the grounders would find useful.

“Trade for what?”

“Your people will agree to teach my people, Abby can educate our healers, Raven can teach our builders, you have educated people who know trades that my people do not. I offer you our help in return.” Marcus smiled, relieved that Lexa was asking him for something that he could actually give.

“I think that we can work something out."

“They will do this in Polis. After we leave, my people will not come here again. It will be up to you to start trade with the clans near here.”

“I understand.”

“Good, we’ll start hunting tomorrow. Once we have enough to at least get you through, then we will start to take your people will us. Show them how to hunt.”

“Thank you Commander. You are truly a visionary.” Marcus complimented.

Both looked up when the door to the council room opened and Clarke walked in. Marcus looked between the two girls and knew that he should probably leave them to talk. The room became stifling in a matter of moments, the tension so thick it was strangling both of them. Lexa kept her attention on the plans for the Ark that Marcus had been going over with her. She had been avoiding Clarke. Not her proudest action but Titus’ words still rang in her head. And she had no right to be jealous, she knew that. But she was.

During Clarke’s time in Polis, the two had talked a little about Clarke’s time in the wilderness. How she had survived on her own, how she had taught herself how to hunt. But never once did Clarke mention the girl at the trading post. There were many reasons why she didn’t have to. Clarke didn’t owe Lexa an explanation. But that didn’t mean that Lexa hadn’t hoped Clarke would have trusted her enough to tell her.

“Thank you.” Clarke said breaking the silence between them.

“I didn’t spare Bellamy for you.” Lexa’s words were biting, she didn’t mean them to be but they came out that way and she wasn’t going to apologize for them. Taken aback by the harshness in Lexa’s tone Clarke’s eyes narrowed.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t still be grateful.”

“I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that.” Lexa said with s heavy sigh. Clarke circled around the table and approached Lexa, similar to the way you would approach an unfamiliar dog not knowing if it would attack or not.

“What is it?” Clarke asked, deciding to be brave and reach for Lexa’s hand. She was half expecting that Lexa would pull away. Instead, the brunette stared at Clarke’s hand where it rested on top of her own.

“Kane and I have come to an arrangement. I do not know how well it will go over with your people. He has asked for my help with your food shortage and teaching your people how to hunt. I agreed, because they are my people now too and I refuse to allow them to starve.” Lexa didn’t know why she felt she needed to remind Clarke that she was staying true to the oath that she had made. But she was. She promised Clarke that she was going to treat Clarke’s people as her own people.

“I know you won’t.” Clarke said softly. Lexa turned, her eyes finding Clarke’s and she couldn’t explain the feeling she got when their eyes met. Leaning against the table, Lexa pulled Clarke closer. Taking a moment to enjoy Clarke’s closeness.

“After I ensure that Arkadia has enough food, and the skills to keep it that way, I will be returning to Polis. I am still in need of a Skaikru ambassador.” Clarke would have laughed at how adorable Lexa looked, asking her if she was going to come back to Polis without actually asking. But Clarke knew better than to mock Lexa’s willingness to open herself up.

“Well, I suppose someone needs to keep an eye on you.” Clarke teased. There was a time where Lexa would have been offended that Clarke thought that Lexa wouldn’t keep her word. But, Lexa knew that wasn’t what Clarke meant.

“I am relieved.”

“Arkadia isn’t home anymore.”

“And you believe Polis is?” Lexa asked hopefully. Clarke wanted to say yes, she wanted to because Lexa was so hopeful.

“Maybe.”

“I should go, prepare the hunting party.” Lexa said reluctantly. Clarke could tell that there was something still bothering Lexa, but she didn’t push it. Lexa would open up when she was ready. Clarke could be patient until then.  

 

**A/N: So this is where I take more artistic license. I thought that it would be appropriate that Lincoln and Lexa have a more complex history than is shown in the show. Just from reading between the lines from some of the season 2 scenes where Lincoln is talking about Lexa. Also, I wanted to give Lincoln and Lexa another bond with Costia. As always, I look foward to hearing your thoughts.**


	4. IV

Phew, sorry for the long wait guys. Life, health issues, work, school...all conspired to keep me away from writing for a while. Anywho, hope you enjoy.

Chapter Four

Lexa took in a slow, deep breath, feeling the subtle wind gently caressing the side of her face. The forest was alive with noises and smells, each one a clue of where her prey might be. Toying with the bow string, feeling it’s tautness quiver with anticipation of being fired. She waited. Lexa had remained in the same position for hours. Allowing the forest and its animals to get used to her presence. Already several smaller animals had run by.

Finally, her patience paid off when she heard a distinct cracking of branches. Something had come close, something big. Opening her eyes Lexa found a large buck standing only a few yards from her. Lexa released the arrow, her eyes locking with that of the buck. An understanding passing between them, the beast accepting his fate. It was a good clean kill; the animal was dead before it even felt the sting of the arrow.

“Nice shot.” Lincoln complimented joining Lexa. He’d been watching from a different vantage point. His own arrow poised, ready in case Lexa missed. He didn’t expect to need his arrow.

“I miss hunting sometimes.” Lexa said lowering her arms and feeling her limbs rejoice at being able to relax.

“Reminds you of simpler times.” Lincolns aid. Lexa only nodded her answer. The buck was taken by Lexa’s warriors, they would oversee the preparations were done and the animal was given the proper respect.

“I’m not Heda out here. The animals do not care that I rule over the thirteen clans. Here, I am just Lexa.”

“Clarke’s been looking for you.” Lincoln remembered Clarke not so subtly asking where Lexa was Lexa looked away, staring into the forest so that Lincoln could not see how that statement affected her.

“I am taking care of her people.” Lexa offered.

“You mean avoiding her.” Lincoln asked knowingly. It was almost comical. Legendary Heda Kom Kongeda, afraid to talk to Clarke. He might have laughed had he not known Lexa’s reservation about Clarke.

“She makes me weak Lincoln. I keep telling Titus that she doesn’t. I tell myself that she doesn’t. But I can’t deny her anything.” Lexa was afraid to look at Lincoln as she said these words, afraid of the judgement she might see in them. She was not supposed to have weaknesses. Weaknesses could be exploited and she would only end up putting Clarke in danger for giving into what she wanted. But when it came to Clarke, Lexa couldn’t fight it even if she tried. And she had tried, she had done everything she could to cling to the anger and the pain that Clarke had caused by leaving. But the moment she saw Clarke again, all was forgotten.

“But does she make you happy?” Lincoln asked. He was probably one of the few who had seen Lexa be truly happy. When her guard was down and she was able to smile and laugh without having to check herself, when she had been a girl and she could laugh so hard she would turn red in the face. When she would love to pull pranks of Titus and watch him get flustered. He wanted to see that side of Lexa again, knowing that it was inside her.

“When I am with her, I feel a weight being lifted off of me.” Lexa answered.

“You both have been hurt by the world so much, you both deserve happiness. I know that she cares for you.”

“Titus says it is foolish to allow myself this weakness. The Commander’s life is one spend alone.”

“Titus has served four Commanders before you, he knows many things. But he doesn’t know about this.” Lincoln knew how terrified Lexa was, even if he couldn’t see it, and surely she would never admit to it. But he knew that she was scared of what she felt for Clarke. There was so much that was unknown about love, and the potential for her was always a looming threat.

“What is your sage advice then Lincoln?”

“You know the answer to that.” Lincoln watched with a smile as Lexa’s stern, stoicism melted away into a radiant smile that lit up her entire face. He could barely contain his laughter as Lexa sprinted from where she stood towards the tree line.

< >

Clarke was trying not to let her frustration show. But she had been searching for Lexa for hours and no one would actually tell her where the Commander was. Every grounder she asked, mumbled something about the Commander hunting but wouldn’t elaborate at all. Maybe it had been a foolish hope, but with things settling down Clarke had hoped that she would be able to spend some time with Lexa before either of them were needed to lead their people out of another crisis.

It was a strange feeling. There were no obvious threats looming over them, grounder and Sky People working together so that the Sky People could become self sufficient. There was plenty to do, Clarke was sure of that. There were gardens to plant, there were hunting lessons to take, and various other meetings she could insist upon being a part of. But she just wanted to enjoy the moment, close her eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on her face.

“I forget sometimes that you did not grow up on the ground.” Lexa’s voice pulled Clarke out of her wistful musing. Tilting her head to look over her shoulder, she saw the brunette approaching.

“We never really got a chance to enjoy Earth. As soon as we hit the ground it was, fight for survival, fight a war, forge a peace.” Clarke said watching Lexa gracefully drop down beside her. Clarke had chosen a small hill that looked west over the grass. The sky was a perfect blue, one that she doubted she’d be able to match even if she were given every shade of blue paint Polis had.

“There’s no need for any of that now.” Clarke wondered if Lexa realized how stuffy that sounded. Glancing at Lexa, seeing her jaw firmly set in what Clarke liked to refer to as Lexa’s Commander Mask, Clarke doubted it.

“I was looking for you this morning.”

“I know, Lincoln told me. I was hunting.” Lexa explained.

“Did you have any luck?”

“I did not need luck.” Lexa said sounding affronted at the suggestion.

“It’s just a saying. I don’t doubt you are a very skilled hunter.” Clarke placated with a soft laugh. Lexa’s offense faded quickly. She would have to get used to Skaikru sayings. She could see many miscommunications in the future.

“What did you wish to see me about?” Lexa asked so businesslike that Clarke wonders, not for the first time, if Lexa knows any other way to be.

“I thought we could spend time together.” Clarke hadn’t realized how stupid that sounded until she said the words out loud. Blushing a bright rose color Clarke looked down, hoping that her hair would cover the color rapidly filling her cheeks. Lexa went to respond but no words came. Clarke had gifted her with her honesty, it was only fitting that she should do the same.

“I hope, that now that peace has been achieved we can spend a great deal more time together.” Lexa answered, ducking her head so that she could catch a glimpse of Clarke’s eyes.

“A great deal huh?” Clarke asked daring to look up.

“Yes, I think that I may need many decades to begin to unravel the mystery that is Clarke Kom Skaikru.” Clarke felt her heart beat trip over itself, her stomach feeling as if it were filled with a thousand butterflies just at a simple sentence. But there was nothing simple about it. Lexa wanted decades together. Lexa was offering Clarke decades.

They fell into a peaceful silence, both of them appreciating the world around them. Clarke marveling at the subtle details she’d never caught before because she’d never taken the time to look. And Lexa, drinking in the serenity of it all. This was what she fought for, quiet moments like these. It wouldn’t last. Perfect moments never did, otherwise they wouldn’t be so precious. But both of them wanted to hold onto every moment they bad before the rest of the world came crashing down upon them as it usually did.

“There’s going to be a huge celebration in Polis when we return.” Lexa said breaking the silence. Clarke looked towards Lexa, and saw a distant look on Lexa’s face. “It’s tradition every time the Commander returns from a battle victorious. In this instance, it will be seen as though I have conquered another clan and brought them into the coalition.”

Clarke understood enough about grounders to know that even though that wasn’t the case, it was ceremonial. To protest it would be to offend them.

“Sounds like fun.”

“I’ve seen many of these celebrations. There is nothing like it.” Lexa offered. There was a faint smile on her lips and Clarke knew that it was probably taking every bit of resolve Lexa had not to puff out her chest in pride. So Clarke did it for her.

“You made that happen Lexa. You are the coalition.”

“There will be dancing and food, all the best that Polis has to offer. And I want to show it all to you. I want you to see the performers and the musicians. There is so much joy and celebration of life, it’s enough to make you forget, if just for a little while, all the demons that we carry with us.”

“It sounds wonderful.”

“You’ll be my honored guest.”

“On the Ark we had these events called dances. It was the council’s way of trying to distract the youth from the fact that we were living on a dying space station. It was one of the few occasions where we got to dress up, and just be kids. I’m guessing these celebrations are like that.”

“Yes. It is the one time that the Commander-that I don’t have to be Heda.” Clarke realized what that meant for Lexa. The freedom that just for a few days, even just a night. She could just be Lexa, she could be the teenager girl that she was and she could just let loose and enjoy life. Clarke wondered what that looked like.

“I want to see that.”

“That way, for just one night, Lexa and Clarke will owe nothing to their people.”

Clarke watched as Lexa laced their fingers together, watching the slightly calloused pad of Lexa’s thumb brush against the back of her hand. They stayed that way until the sun began to hang low in the sky and they needed to get back before it got dark. Arkadia was alive with activity, they had begun construction on several smoke houses and the air was filled with the aroma of smoking meats. There was still a lot of hesitation between the two different peoples, Lexa’s warriors preferring to stay with their own, and likewise with the Arkers. But, there were a few that mingled.

“Commander.” Marcus greeted taking the opportunity to bridge the gap between their peoples. Lexa greeted the Chancellor with a smile, graciously accepting his thanks for what they had been provided.

“I am pleased with the progress that has been made today.” Lexa answered. Contrary to popular belief amongst the Arkers, Lexa wasn’t heartless. She didn’t rejoice at the idea of seeing them starve. Especially the children, some of the youngest of them were just into their teenage years, they should never know hunger.

<> 

Lincoln stopped sleeping in Arkadia as soon as his imprisonment had ended. He wasn’t one of them, they reminded him of that at every turn. He had tried, he had worn their clothes, carried their weapons, he had _tried._ But this was who he was. As the night drug on and the grounders began to head back to their camp, Lincoln found himself going with them. He slipped out of the gates without a word.

Lexa looked up in surprise when the entrance flap to her tent was pushed back and Lincoln entered. She had been in the process of preparing for bed, usually a time that her guards knew not to allow anyone inside. But Lincoln was different. He would be a flamekeeper one day, and as such, his access to Lexa was pretty much unlimited. Lexa looked at him, taking in the way that his shoulders hunched and his eyes lowered.

Reaching for the top furs form her bed Lexa tossed them towards him, he caught them easily enough and silently built a small nest on the ground. He was close enough to the fire not to need the blankets for warmth, she had offered them to him for comfort. Silence fell over the tent and the camp as people began to find their way to sleep, but Lincoln knew Lexa was awake, or if she was asleep it was just the very lightest, beginnings of slumber. If he wanted to talk, she would listen. If he didn’t, she wouldn’t pressure him.

<> 

“Have you seen Lincoln?” Octavia asked dropping down beside Clarke at the breakfast table. Clarke looked around, usually Octavia was the one who knew where Lincoln was.

“Did you check the medical bay?” Clarke asked.

“That was the first place I checked. He isn’t there, and he didn’t come to bed last night.” Octavia had wondered where he had gone off too. But things between them had been strained, and he didn’t always sleep with Octavia at night. She never had trouble finding him though. She guessed that he slept in one of the common areas, in the hammocks they’d set up.

“I’m sure he’s around. With all the grounders going off hunting, that’s probably where he is.” Clarke offered. She could tell that Octavia was worried, but Clarke was confident that Lincoln was find.

“Things are…I don’t know, they’re not right between us. I know that he’s mad, or upset or something but he won’t talk to me about it. Every time I ask him what’s wrong he tells me nothing’s wrong.” Octavia said. She and Lincoln had always been solid, she had never wavered in her belief that they could make it through anything. She’d believed that since the moment they met. But now, with the fracture that had been forming between them getting bigger and bigger, she wondered if maybe her confidence was making her blind.

“He loves you Octavia. Whatever it is, you guys will work through it.” Clarke said trying to be reassuring. She really shouldn’t be the one offering relationship advice.

“I just wish he would talk to me.”

“Look, he’s coming in with Lexa.” Clarke said pointing towards the entrance to the camp. Octavia’s gaze darted towards where Clarke pointed and saw Lincoln walking with Lexa, talking in soft tones. Jealousy flared in her, seeing the familiarity between the two. The urge to walk over to the duo and stake her claim almost had Octavia on her feet. But she stopped herself just shy, she couldn’t just storm over to the Commander and tell her to stay away from Lincoln.

“Do you think that he stayed with the grounders last night?” Octavia asked. Clarke was surprised to hear the vulnerability in Octavia’s voice. She seemed so unsure, it was a side of the brunette that Clarke couldn’t remember ever seeing.

“I wouldn’t read to much into it Octavia. I’m sure that he is just taking advantage of getting to know them again.”

“Yeah, what do you think the history between those two is? They seem to know one another.” To be honest, Clarke had wondered too. Octavia hadn’t been the only one to notice that Lexa and Lincoln’s closeness.

“You guys could always ask them.” Clarke and Octavia looked up sharply at Raven who stood next to their table with her arms crossed. She had eavesdropped on the girls working themselves up.

“We can’t do that.” Octavia dismissed with a shake of her head.

Raven sat down at their table, she’d been working most of the night trying to keep what few systems they had up and running. And she had spent a good amount of time trying to avoid Jaha. She had taken his magic pill, and it had worked for a while to alleviate the pain that she felt. But when it’s effects started to fade and Jaha didn’t have any more, his little cult following faded real quick.

<> 

“How are things in the Capital?” Lexa asked looking up from the message Indra brought with her. Lexa saw Indra’s hesitation, and her thought first went to worry that something bad had happened. But from what she had read in Titus’ message everything seemed to be normal. He included news on all of the Nightbloods, their studies, any injuries from training, everything. Indra’s hesitation came from the guilt that she still carried for her part in Lexa’s punishment.

“Things are well Heda. Polis prospers.” Indra said her eyes trained on the ground. Lexa knew that she was truly lucky to have the loyalty of the woman that stood before her. Indra was unwavering, even when she didn’t agree with Lexa’s decisions she obeyed.

“Indra.” Lexa put the paper down and stood before Indra. After a few minutes, Indra lifted her eyes and met Lexa’s. “You followed my orders. You have done nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I took a vow to protect you with my life Heda. Not shed your blood with my own blade.” Indra insisted. She had sworn that oath before Titus, Anya, and Gustus when she became one of Lexa’s generals. When Lexa had given Indra command of TonDC.

“If you had not done what you did, I would be dead now.” Lexa promised. Indra wanted to argue, but it was pointless. There was no arguing with Lexa.

“I think that you should come back to Polis.” Indra said. It always made her uneasy when the Commander’s throne was vacant.

“I will, soon.”

“The people need to see you Heda.”

“The Sky People are quickly finding their own way. When you return, tell Titus that I will be returning by the next full moon.” It was less than a week away, but Indra was right. She had stayed far to long at Arkadia. But she had enjoyed it, spending time with Clarke without the stress of ruling over the coalition.

“And tell Titus that there will be a number of Skaikru coming with me. I have negotiated with Marcus and he has agreed that his people will teach our people some of their ways, as a trade for the aid that we have given them.” Indra’s eyes hardened. She had not spoken to Marcus or any of the Skaikru since the massacre.

“I have seen their ways Heda. We do not need to know them.”

“Their medicines can save lives Indra. Abby can teach our healers how to treat sicknesses that have been plaguing us for decades. And Raven can teach our builders how to build faster and stronger homes. There is a great deal that we can learn from them other than their weapons.” Lexa knew that it would be difficult to convince her people that Clarke and her people had skills that they wanted to learn but, in time she was confident that she could convince them.

“If you say so Heda.”

<> 

Lexa woke suddenly, the air inside her tent shifting in the tell tale way that revealed someone was in her tent that should not be. She knew what Lincoln’s foot steps sounded like, and he was laying on the ground pretending to be asleep. He had heard the same intruder. Another shuffling of feet, lighter, attempted grace. For a brief moment Lexa wondered if it was Clarke, attempting to sneak into her tent for some quality time together. But she cast the thought aside as quickly as she’d had it. Clarke knew better than to try and sneak into the Commander’s tent. If Lexa’s guards didn’t kill her, then Lexa might accidentally out of instinct.

Sudden movement made Lexa sit up, Lincoln had sprung up from his place on the ground and had grabbed the attacker.

“Lincoln, let go!” Lincoln released Octavia quickly. Turning to light some of the candles, Lexa saw Octavia standing indignantly.

“What is the meaning of this?” Lexa demanded, a growl in her tone.

“I had to know where he was sleeping. How long has this been going on? Does Clarke know?” Octavia demanded. Lincoln looked between Octavia and Lexa, wondering which one was going to strike the other first. Lexa looked positively murderous, Octavia didn’t look any friendlier.

“Whatever you think is going on Octavia, it’s not.” Lincoln said.

“You’re sleeping in her tent Lincoln.”

“And not in my bed.” Lexa insisted, gesturing towards the pile of furs that Lincoln had been using. Octavia felt a little silly to allow her jealousy to drive her to Lexa’s tent in the middle of the night. But she had wanted to catch them. If they were having some sort of affair, she needed to see it. Now she just felt stupid.

“You’re never around anymore Lincoln. You follow Lexa around; you don’t talk to me anymore.” Lexa could tell that this was going to be a long, drawn out conversation that she shouldn’t be a part of. So she silently excused herself and walked outside leaving the couple to discuss their issues.

“What did you think you were going to find Octavia? Do you know that you could have been killed sneaking around the camp like this?” Lincoln demanded, crossing his arms angrily.

“I figured I would find you in bed with Lexa! What was I supposed to think?”

“You’re supposed to trust me!”

“Trust you? You’ve been a ghost for months!”

Lexa winced at the raised voices coming from inside her tent, she hadn’t gone far. She’d hoped that she would be able to go back to bed before the sun came up.

“Sounds like we’re missing quite the argument.” Lexa watched Clarke approach. The blonde looked as tired as she did.

“I do not think we’re missing it.” Lexa answered glancing behind her. They could see the shadow of their friends gesturing wildly as their argument continued in slightly lowered voices.

“I figured it would be a good idea if I followed Octavia. See what trouble she could get into.” Clarke joined Lexa, leaning against the table Lexa was using to hold herself up.

“Not the smartest choice to try and sneak into my tent. You know what she thought she would find?” Lexa asked, curious if Clarke also thought that she and Lexa were having an affair.

“I knew what she expected.”

“You do not share her worries?” Lexa asked cautiously. Clarke could see the worry in Lexa’s eyes, she almost found it adorable.

“Do I think that you’re cheating on me? No. I don’t.”

“Good, because I would nev-.” Lexa’s sentence was cut off abruptly by Clarke’s lips. The blonde pouring everything she felt into the kiss.

“I know.” Clarke whispered against Lexa’s lips. Lexa leaned her forehead against Clarke’s, breathing her in.

“If my tent was not currently occupied, I would take you in there and do unspeakable things to you.” Lexa said, her voice low and full of promise. But also, Clarke detected the slightest bit of playfulness.

“But it is occupied. And we really should make sure that they don’t do something stupid like have sex in your bed.” Clarke said twisting out of Lexa’s grasp to walk towards the bed. Laughing when she saw Lexa’s eyes widen.

Lexa followed Clarke into the tent, it seemed Octavia and Lincoln were at a stalemate. They were both staring at one another, Octavia still with fight in her eyes. But that was more just who she was, if there was breath in her then there was fight also. Lincoln seemed to have accepted that this was not an argument that could be settled in one night.

“Octavia, I can assure you that Lincoln and I are no more than friends. Almost family.” Lexa said honestly. Octavia looked at Lexa, her gaze hard, like she was trying to tell if Lexa was lying to her or not just by the power of her glare.

“Didn’t you have a kill order on him not a few months ago? And now you guys are inseparable?” Octavia demanded. She’d asked the same question of Lincoln, but he had only shrugged.

“That was not my decision.”

“Not your decision? Aren’t you the Commander? Everything is your decision!”

“Octavia!” Clarke warned, Octavia could get away with a lot. But Clarke doubted that Lexa’s tolerance would extend much further. Lexa took a deep breath and inched towards Octavia, seeing the younger brunette shrink away from her made Lexa inwardly smile.

“Lincoln is like a brother to me. You would not understand what we have been through together.” Lexa said in a low voice. Clarke had to admit she was curious. She wasn’t jealous the way the Octavia was; she knew that Lexa would never be unfaithful to her. But she was jealous of the openness that Lexa seemed to have with Lincoln that she couldn’t have with Clarke.

“Heda, can we tell them?” Lincoln asked. He hated keeping secrets from Octavia. But it wasn’t necessarily his to tell.

“Lincoln was Costia’s brother.” Lexa said by way of answer. Octavia heard Clarke gasp and turned towards her friend. Costia wasn’t a name that she had heard before.

“Costia meant a great deal to me, we grew up together the three of us. And then I was chosen to be the Commander and Costia was taken by the ice nation, tortured and then killed.” Lexa explained, she sounded almost robotic the way that she spoke. She had said the words so many times that she wished they didn’t still hurt her. But she suspected that she would always feel as if a knife were being thrust into her chest when she spoke of Costia.

Octavia looked between Lincoln and Lexa, understanding shining in her eyes, and guilt too for how she had reacted.

“I’m sorry, I-I didn’t know.”

“Now you do, and I would appreciate it if that fact did not leave this tent.”

“Of course.” Octavia agreed quickly.

“I think that we’ve had enough for one night. I think we can all get a few hours of sleep still, if we try.” Lexa said. Octavia and Lincoln were quick to exit the tent, knowing that they had stretched Lexa’s tolerance long enough. Clarke stayed, she didn’t want to leave Lexa until she knew that the brunette was alright. Lexa didn’t often show emotion, but when she did it was with such heartbreaking honesty and openness that Clarke wondered how she managed to keep it all bottled up inside.

Lexa’s back was to Clarke, but if she could see Lexa’s face she would see tears welling behind green eyes. If she blinked they would fall, so she stared hard into the candles that lit the tent.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Clarke asked finally.

“Lincoln is like my brother. When I lost her, I lost him.” Lexa answered her eyes lowered. She would never be able to put into words the pain of loss she’d felt. To lose everyone that she loved all in the span of one event. Lincoln had wanted her to go after the Ice Nation, seek retribution for the life that they took. But Lexa had listened to Titus. Lexa wasn’t sure that Lincoln would ever forgive her.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s in the past now, Lincoln and I are rebuilding what we had.” Shaking her head, as if the physical action of it could somehow make the hurt go away. She felt the tears sting her cheeks, and she brushed them away with the flick of her wrist.

“You don’t have to do that. Not with me.” Clarke said stepping towards Lexa before stopping. She wanted to make it better, she wanted Lexa to know that she wasn’t alone and that she could cry if she wanted to. But the idea of telling Lexa that was almost comical. Telling the Commander of the coalition that she should cry it out, was not the most practical thing.

“Stay tonight.” It was a request, or at least it was supposed to be. But coming from Lexa, it sounded more like an order. But Clarke wisely chose not to comment on it. She was tired, her nightmares still kept her awake most nights. Clarke still remembered when she and Lexa started napping around one another. It had happened accidentally the first time, they had found a quiet moment where Clarke was drawing and Lexa was reading. Clarke didn’t even remember falling asleep but she woke up when Lexa had gently grasped her shoulder to wake her for the evening meal. After that, it seemed like a regular occurrence. Though it took a while before Lexa was the one to fall asleep. Clarke had never confessed it, but those were some of the most restful periods of sleep she’d had since landing on the ground.

Lexa moved to lay on the bed, finding the mattress contouring to her body just the way that she liked. Clarke lingered on the side of the bed for a while, this was something new. They had yet to actually share a bed. Sleeping in each other’s company was one thing. But this, it felt like they were crossing boundaries and Clarke wasn’t sure if they were at that point yet. Still, she couldn’t resist the way that Lexa looked up at her, eyes half lidded, revealing how exhausted she actually was.

Circling around the room, blowing out the various candles that lit the room until there was only the faintest glow lighting her way back to the bed. She crawled into the unoccupied side of the bed, expecting awkwardness. Instead, it was soothing. Her eyes closed on their own and she felt the tension of the day leaving her. In the last moments before she drifted to sleep, she felt Lexa’s hand slowly reach across the small distance between them and rest just on top of her own. The gesture was comforting, and sweet, and it made Clarke smile softly before she settled into the furs and fell asleep.

<> 

Clarke woke up slowly, her mind reluctant to give up what peace she had found in sleep. With her eyes still closed she turned into the plush warmth of the furs beneath her. They smelled like Lexa, though Clarke would never be able to describe exactly what the scent was. Whenever she encountered it though, she couldn’t help but be comforted by it. To want to be surrounded by it. Then she heard the sound of birds, and the bustle of activity. It was already morning, and from the sounds of it, late morning.

Reluctantly her eyes opened, what she saw made her smile and her heart begin to beat faster. Sitting next to her, Lexa was lounging casually. She had been up for hours, already dressed for the day wit her hair braided. But she had stayed, even though she probably had dozens of other things to do.

“Hi.” Clarke said stretching leisurely. Her smile only growing when she saw Lexa’s eyes sweep down her body appreciatively.

“Did you sleep well?” Lexa asked turning her attention away from her book. It was one of her favorites, and she always took it with her wherever she went. The actual print of it had begun to ware away so she had traced over it with her own ink.

“I did.” Clarke answered slowly.

“Good.”

“I thought that you would have been gone by now.” Clarke said turning onto her side, propping her head up on her hand.

“I would hope that our people can survive a morning without us.” Lexa said with a smirk.

With her free hand, Clarke reached out and placed her hand on top of Lexa’s. Like Lexa had the night before. Lexa looked down at the contact, and then back at Clarke. Finding Clarke’s sky colored eyes mesmerizing.

“Do you think that we can have more mornings like this? When we go back to Polis?”

“If that is what you wish."

“I want-.” Clarke stopped. Shaking her head before hiding her face in the furs, laughing at her own silliness.

“What?” Lexa asked softly. Curious now, more than she ever had been before about what Clarke was thinking.

“I turned eighteen a week after landing on the ground. But even before then, I didn’t get a chance to be just a kid. Not really. And I find I want to do all these things I never got a chance to do before. I want to do them with you.”

“What sort of things?” Lexa asked curiously.

“On the Ark, and in the old world before the bombs fell, we went on dates.”

“I am familiar with the practice.” Lexa had never been allowed to court. Even though it was understood that she and Costia were together. They didn’t get to be carefree, she never got to go to the marketplace and pick out flowers for Costia from the vendors. She wasn’t sure if she would be allowed such a thing now. But if that was what Clarke wanted, then Lexa would do what she could to make it happen.

“Is that what we’re doing? What are we doing?” Clarke wondered allowed.

“Do you doubt my feelings for you Clarke?”

“No, I think I know how you feel about me. You’ve proven it many times.”

“It will not be easy. This, has never happened before. No Commander has ever lived as long as I have, or done what I have.” There was no pride in Lexa’s statement. It was just a statement of fact. Lexa had outlived her predecessors and they were now in uncharted territory. She didn’t know what was to come.

“So we take it one day at time then.” Clarke wasn’t thrilled with the idea. She didn’t need any bold statements or public proclamations about Lexa’s intentions. But, she wanted to know what they were. She wanted to know if Lexa thought of them the same way that she did.

“Speak your mind Clarke.”

“Am I just going to be an ambassador when we go to Polis?”

“You were never just an ambassador Clarke.” Again Clarke found her stomach filled with butterflies, it was embarrassing how easily Lexa could get to her.

“Titus won’t like it.”

“He’ll learn.”

“What are you reading?” Clarke asked after a long moment passed between them. Lexa looked down at the book.

“It’s called Peter Pan.” Lexa said closing the cover. The image that had once been painted on it was gone now, whether it had worn away over time or if it simply had suffered the harshness of the times Lexa had never asked.

“I remember hearing the story on the Ark. But I’ve never actually read the book.”

“I could let you read it.” Lexa said finally. She was fiercely protective of it. More so than any weapon, or any possession. Perhaps it was because, as far as she knew, this was the only copy of it. Clarke could see the hesitation in Lexa’s eyes and found it endearing.

“Or, you could read it to me.” Clarke suggested. Lexa smirked, opening the front cover to the first page.

They didn’t spend much more time in bed. Their consciences wouldn’t allow them to neglect their duties for too long.

<> 

“Are you sure that I shouldn’t come with?” Marcus asked watching as the selection of Arkers prepared for the journey to Polis. Lexa had provided each of them with horses, but most of them were wary of the beasts. Having read about them, but never actually seen one up close before.

“You need to stay here, with everything still in flux right now. The people are going to need you to be here leading them.” Abby insisted. She wished that Marcus was coming with them. He had an air for diplomacy that she didn’t. And he seemed to have a fascination with the grounder culture that made it easy for him to make friends. But, he couldn’t leave. Leaving would open up the possibility that someone like Pike might rise up again and they could not afford to let that happen.

“Alright. I’ve spoken with the Commander. She said that after our people have trained five grounders to do the tasks that they require then they will be free to return to Arkadia if they wish.” Marcus didn’t want his people to feel like they were being imprisoned. Lexa agreed, she was trying to provide a space where the two people could mingle, perhaps find common ground.

“See you in a few weeks then. Send word if there is anything that we need to know about.” Abby insisted. She was leaving Jackson with them, the man was a good doctor and the people were in good hands. But still, there was no one better than Abby when it came to medical emergencies.

“Safe journey.”

Lexa and Clarke lead the caravan, riding side by side with Lexa’s guards surrounding them. There was a scout that always rode ahead before doubling back to report what he had seen. But for the most part they were given their space. But Clarke noticed that Lexa was also giving her space. It wasn’t out of coldness or anger; Clarke shook that thought away after a few moments. Lexa was giving her space because Octavia and Raven were riding with them. Raven had tried to get one one of the saddles, but the pain in her let had prevented her from being able to sit comfortably. But Lexa had provided a modified saddle that would allow her to sit with both legs on one side.

“Never thought I would be riding a horse on the way to the grounder capital.” Raven commented.

“You’re going to like Polis.” Clarke promised. She could just imagine Raven going through the market stalls and finding little pieces of old electronics she could tinker with. Raven would be like a kid con Christmas morning.

“Gotta admit I’m looking forward to the party. Lincoln said it’s going to be pretty sweet.” Octavia said. After the embarrassing, semi public fight she and Lincoln had, they were trying to work on their issues. Things were still strained. Octavia realized how unfair she had been to Lincoln. He had tried so hard to give her what he thought that she wanted. But she had only ever wanted him to be the grounder that she had fallen in love with.

Lexa glanced behind her at Clarke, seeing her in conversation with her friends before turning her attention to the road ahead. Her attentiveness to Clarke wasn’t lost on Abby. The elder Griffin had wanted to be supportive of Clarke and Lexa’s budding relationship. There had been too many things that driven a wedge between her and her daughter, and she didn’t want this to be yet another one.

“Something on your mind Abby Kom Skaikru?” Lexa asked feeling the scrutiny of the older woman.

“Clarke means the world to me Commander. I want nothing more than for her to be happy.”

“We have a common goal then.”

“She’s been through a lot; she deserves to be happy.” Abby added unnecessarily.

“It always baffled me, Clarke’s capacity for forgiveness. We have both hurt her a great deal and yet she has forgiven us both.”

“She is remarkable isn’t she?” Lexa didn’t answer verbally. But Abby would have had to be blind not to see the look that Lexa had in her eyes. They might not see eye to eye on a lot of things but Abby was pretty sure that Clarke’s heart was safe with Lexa. 


	5. Chapter 5

They passed through the borders of Polis and were welcomed by crowds of cheering people. From the first excited shout of _Heda_ to the chanting of her name as she rode through the capital. People threw flowers onto the path before them and people waved. Lexa sat poised, her posture straight and gaze focused in front of her. They were welcoming home their victorious Commander, and Clarke couldn’t help the swell of pride that she felt as she watched the population of Polis practically fawning over Lexa.

Clarke knew that she shouldn’t find the sight so appealing, seeing the power that Lexa wields should not arouse her. But at the same time, the entire world bowed to Lexa, and Lexa bowed to her. So lost in her admiration of Lexa, Clarke was startled when the caravan came to a stop at the base of the tower. Titus waited with Lexa’s ambassadors. 

“Heda, the preparations for the Skaikru are ready.” Titus said with the same grim look that she always had. Clarke wanted to roll her eyes, she hated that Titus couldn’t just let Lexa enjoy the peace that she had worked so hard for.

“I have had a floor set up for your people. I hope they will be comfortable.” Lexa explained to both Abby and Clarke. They followed her inside the tower towards the elevator.

“Thank you.” Clarke hadn’t expected that her people would be allowed to stay in the tower. As far as Clarke knew only the ambassadors stayed in the tower. But she had only been on a handful of floors. She hadn’t been forbidden from exploring, but during the time that she had been in Polis, she had been more worried about the extermination of her people than exploring. Now Clarke found that she wanted nothing more than to explore Lexa’s world. To know every detail of the place that Lexa had grown up in.

“I am sure that you will wish to settle in. If you require anything, please do not hesitate to ask the attendants.” Lexa said needlessly. Clarke watched Lexa as she left, appreciating that Lexa was trying to give them space. She didn’t want them to feel like they were prisoners in Polis. Even if they were, Clarke could think of far worse prisons.

“Pretty snazzy.” Raven said looking around. Lexa hadn’t been exaggerating when she said that she had designated an entire floor to the Arkers. Walking off of the elevator, the floor looked just like the one that Lexa stayed on. But there were more rooms lining each side of the hallway. Each of the doors were open, providing a glimpse of what was inside for each of them to pick which room they would like. There was just enough rooms for each of them.

“Where are you going to sleep?” Abby asked, she had done the mental math just as Clarke had. They were technically a room short. Clarke wasn’t going to be staying on their floor.

“I’ll be staying with the other ambassadors. Upstairs.” Clarke answered shifting her feet awkwardly. She didn’t want the special treatment, and she would have stayed with her people. But if she refused their offer, it would be seen as an insult.

“Octavia told me about the room they set you up in. I hear it’s pretty sweet.” Raven continued to tease. She expected to spend a great deal of time in Clarke’s room. Reaping the benefits of her friends elevated status.

“You’re welcome any time. But I’m going to go up there and make sure that I’m not missing anything important. I’ll meet you guys for dinner.” Clarke didn’t wait for a response, instead she turned on her heal and headed back to the elevators.

“Let her go Abby.” Raven said seeing that Abby wanted to go after Clarke.

* * *

 

Lexa always loved this part of returning home. Reuniting with her Nightbloods. The younger ones having not yet learned that they should not embrace her with such reckless abandon that she nearly fell over under the weight. The way that they regaled her of tales of their triumphs and victories while she had been away. This was the precious time that she would not trade for anything.

Aden tried not to let his happiness show to much on his face. He was trying to be more like Lexa every day, but he could not contain his smile when he saw Lexa. She was his mentor, the family that all the Nightbloods had been denied. It was a poorly kept secret that he was Lexa’s favorite. Though she never let that affect how she treated them, each one of them was special to her in their own ways and she always made time for each of them. But there was no jealousy, Aden was their favorite too. They looked to him to lead them when Lexa wasn’t around. 

“I am glad you are back safe Heda.” Aden said with a bow. Lexa’s eyes smiled, though her lips did not. They were still under the watchful eye of Titus. And he would not hesitate to scold either of them should they show weakness.

“I am glad to be home. Thank you for taking such good care of the others for me.” Lexa said gratefully. Aden beamed under the praise.

“Did Wanheda return with you?” Aden asked softly a few moments later. Lexa had been surprised to learn that Aden had a fondness for Clarke. They had only met a few times that Lexa knew about and yet Aden inquired about Clarke a lot. If she were any less secure she would think that he had a crush on her.

“She did. She is with her people. You will meet them tonight at dinner.”

“Heda.” Titus scolded. It wasn’t customary for Nightbloods to join the Commander for meals. Her role was to teach them how to lead, how to be strong, what it means to be Heda. Not to love them.

“You will see her tonight.” Lexa repeated, her gaze on Titus cold. But the Flamekeeper remained silent.

* * *

 

Lexa didn’t remember falling asleep. She had been gifted with a few moments of peace to herself before she was needed for dinner. And she had sat down on her couch, leaning against the side that she had perfectly broken in so that the cushions hugged her body. And she had promptly fallen asleep. She didn’t know how long she had been sleeping for when she felt fingers running through her hair. Such a thing would normally have caused alarm, but Lexa knew the scent that accompanied the gentle caresses. 

“I am dreaming.” Lexa murmured keeping her eyes closed. She heard Clarke’s breathy chuckle, and then she opened her eyes. Clarke had changed, and she had bathed. She now smelt of oil infused soaps bought from the market. It smelled of citrus and Lexa wanted to commit the scent to memory.

“You deserve a good night’s rest.” Clarke answered softly. The expression on her face was one that Lexa hadn’t gotten a chance to see much of. And she hoped that in the coming days she got to see more of it. It was an unguarded look of contentment. The worries gone, at least for the moment her people were safe. Until the next catastrophe that she was called to handle she would enjoy these moments.

“Maybe a few weeks worth?” Lexa said moving to sit up only to come face to face with Clarke. The blonde sat beside Lexa on the edge of the seat cushion. She had intended to wake Lexa, but when she had gotten close enough she had not had the heart to do it.

“You deserve it.”

“We both do.”

“Maybe we’ll take a vacation since our people have stopped trying to kill each other.”

“What is a vacation?”

“It’s when you go away for a short period of time. You go to escape from your life for a while and relax. Usually some place peaceful.” Clarke answered.

“I would like to go on vacations with you.” Lexa said after a long moment of contemplation. Clarke knew better than to think that Lexa didn’t want to go on vacation with her, but the concept seemed completely foreign to Lexa.

“You should go back to sleep; we don’t have to go to dinner for a while.” Clarke could see the exhaustion in Lexa’s eyes. Lexa was tempted, even casting an envious glance at the cushion she’d been using as a pillow. Clarke didn’t bother asking why Lexa wasn’t in her bed. Clarke could count on one hand the number of times she had seen Lexa actually in her bed. Lexa seemed to prefer to sleep on the couch in her room.

“I am awake now. I have a lot to do before the celebration starts.” Lexa answered shaking her head and trying to get up. Clarke pushed against Lexa’s shoulder, keeping the brunette from standing.

“Can you remember the last time you got a full nights sleep?’ Clarke asked, her eyebrow raised in such a way that Lexa knew that she had already lost the argument. She was fast learning that it was pointless to argue with Clarke, the blonde was relentless when it came to things that she wanted. It would save Lexa a lot of headache to just relent now, especially when it was something that she already wanted.

“They trained us to go many days without sleep. It is part of the night blood training.” Lexa offered, though she leaned back against the side of the couch. Making sure to leave enough room for Clarke to get comfortable. Clarke wasted no time, moving from the edge of the couch into the center, her leg brushing against Lexa’s, not by accident.

“In battle, that might be necessary. But when you’re here, with me, you can rest.”

Silence fell between them, though their gaze never wavered from one another, it didn’t bring the usual discomfort of being stared at. Clarke was the first to break their staring contest, her head dropping to conceal a soft smile and a faint blush. Peace came easily with Clarke. In a way that Lexa had never experienced before, even with Costia. Not only was Lexa able to lower her guard around Clarke, but she found that she actually wanted to. She wanted to just be herself around Clarke.

“Your thoughts are loud.” Lexa murmured. Her voice having a sleepy quality to it that Clarke found adorable.

“Sorry.”

“That was not a criticism, what are you thinking about?”

“I’m thinking that there is so much that I want to know about you.” Clarke blurted out before she had a chance to think about what she was saying. The words tumbled from her lips, and immediately she wished she could swallow them back.

“What do you wish to know?” Lexa asked. She wasn’t surprised by the statement; in fact, she was thrilled by it. Knowing that Clarke wanted to learn about her gave her confidence that Clarke wanted whatever relationship they were building to progress.

“What is your happiest memory?” Clarke asked. Lexa pondered the question, she had wondered what sort of things Clarke would want to know.

“When I was Anya’s second, she was trying to teach me balance. She made me stand on a rock, in the middle of a stream for hours holding a bo staff. And she would throw things at me to try and get me to fall in the water. Hours upon hours of this same exercise. I lost count of how many times I fell into the water. Finally, one day, as I was standing watching Anya collecting stones that she then would throw at me, she tripped and fell face first into the water.” Lexa’s eyes lit up with the memory. Clarke found herself laughing along with Lexa, imaging Anya doing something so clumsy as to fall into water.

“I bet she was furious.”

“She was. But, we never worked on balance exercises again.” Lexa said with a triumphant smile.

* * *

 

Clarke could feel the rhythmic beating of the drums resonate within her body, the night was late but the energy that filled the air made time irrelevant. The feast was long over and the tables had been pushed aside and the performers had taken the mainstage. Large drums, some taller than the drummer standing beside it filled the air with their music. She sat beside Lexa, watching the performance. Lexa looking regal as always, her ceremonial war paint her constant mask. Watching enviously as some of the younger grounders were dancing off to the side. 

“Are you enjoying the music?” Lexa asked, her mouth close to Clarke’s ear so that the blonde could hear her words over the music.

“Yes.” Clarke answered breathlessly. Her attention was on two grounders dancing a few feet from them. She had never seen such a sensual dance before, the man stood behind the woman, and their bodies moved with the beat. There was something so seductive about the way they were moving, it was captivating and she couldn’t look away.

The current song ended and the next was a faster paced song, this one accompanied by singers. Clarke recognized one of the singers as the woman that sang during the induction of the Arkers into the Coalition. More people joined the first couple dancing, first just a handful and then there was a large crowd that were beginning to dance. Clarke caught sight of Octavia and Lincoln among the crowd. She envied them. She wanted to be able to dance with Lexa. As if Lexa were able to read her mind, Clarke felt Lexa’s hand grip her own and tug her from her seat. Clarke wordlessly followed Lexa as the Commander led her off the dais towards the crowded dance floor.

Lexa pulled Clarke close to her, their hips pressing tightly together as Lexa guided their movements. They were pressed so tightly together that Clarke could feel the heat of Lexa’s body and it sent a thrill through her body. Her arms going around Lexa’s neck and bringing their faces close, foreheads resting against one another. No one was paying attention to them, they weren’t Heda and Wanheda with this crowd. They were allowed to blend in and just be among the sea of people and get lost in one another. Clarke didn’t realize how refreshing that would be until she experienced it.

Time melted away as they danced, both of them getting lost in just being close to one another. Allowing themselves to linger just on that feeling and pushing away everything else. Clarke’s fingers played with the soft hairs along the back of Lexa’s neck, and she knew that she had the Commander in the palm of her hand. Lexa’s eyes were closed, and her bottom lip ensnared between her teeth. But that did not mean that Lexa was passive. Her fingers drew unintelligible patters along Clarke’s lower back, sending shivers down Clarke’s spine as she inched closer.

“Can we sneak away?” Clarke asked finally. The sensual touches of Lexa’s hands weren’t enough, she needed to feel Lexa’s hands on all of her. Lexa pulled away so that she could look at Clarke, needing to see the certainty in Clarke’s eyes. When she found it, she forced herself away from Clarke and led Clarke away from the dance floor. No one said anything or even seemed to notice that the two were walking away from the celebration. There was no more formalities or ceremonies to attend to. And while Clarke knew better than to think that there weren’t people who were watching them as they entered the tower she didn’t care.

Nervousness didn’t start to set in until they reached Lexa’s rooms. There was no doubt in either of their minds about what was about to happen. And it was long overdue if they were being honest. But still, they were about to solidify everything that they had felt for one another. Closing her door Lexa locked it, and the locked a second lock. One that Clarke had never noticed before; it was a slide bolt lock that would keep anyone from coming in. Clarke realized then that others must have the key to Lexa’s room and this was her way of notifying them that she did not want to be disturbed.

Turning to face Clarke, Lexa did not look to share the same nervousness that Clarke did. And her confidence sent a new wave of arousal through Clarke. Lexa was Heda, she was a warrior, she didn’t get nervous when it came to lovemaking. Her green eyes bore into Clarke’s looking as if she could see right into Clarke’s soul. For a moment Clarke wasn’t sure what Lexa was looking for. And then it occurred to her that Lexa was asking her for consent.

“I want this.” Clarke said, her voice raspy and full of desire. Lexa extended her hand to Clarke, when Clarke took it Lexa led them to her bed. Silence fell around them, interrupted only by the sound of their breathing.

Clarke took a moment to look at the fierce woman sitting before her. The one who had risked everything for her. No one had hurt her as deeply as the betrayal Lexa dealt at Mount Weather. And Clarke was beginning to suspect that the hurt would always be there in some form, a reminder of the dangers of trusting someone. But having this moment with Lexa, being with her was enough to make that risk worth it. Lexa leaned in, intent to close the distance between them but Clarke stopped her. Her hand on Lexa’s shoulder halting her movement. Lexa recoiled instantly, her eyes cast with suspicion.

“Wait.” Clarke said, her hands framing Lexa’s face. Her thumbs tracing the outline of Lexa’s war paint. Wordlessly Clarke stood, walking to the table where a basin with water waited she brought it with her and a cloth that had been laying beside it. Lexa watched her silently, patient, and wary. Though she had a feeling that Clarke’s intention was not to stop what they were about to do.

Clarke knelt before Lexa, dipping the cloth into the water and bringing it up next to Lexa’s face in her right hand while her left cupped Lexa’s chin keeping the brunette still.

“Tonight, you’re Lexa. Not Heda, not the Commander of the coalition. You’re Lexa.” Clarke said as she began to remove Lexa’s war paint. She was meticulous, she didn’t want to bring the warrior to bed. She just wanted Lexa. Once free of her war paint Lexa’s appearance took on an entirely different quality she looked peaceful, and happy.

Lexa brought their lips together in a gentle, almost reassuring kiss. Gliding her lips over Clarke’s, reveling in the way that it felt both physically and emotionally. She wanted to remember every moment and not rush a single one of them, she wanted to forever know the taste of Clarke’s lips or the sounds she made as Lexa deepened the kiss. Clarke had never been kissed with such reverence, those that she had been with only had one thing on their mind and it was how quickly they could get her out of her clothes. But Lexa kissed as if she would be content to spend the rest of the night doing only that. She kissed with the intention to worship.

She was so swept up in the kiss that Clarke didn’t even realize that Lexa had moved them so that Clarke could lay backward. Feeling her back hit the softness of the furs topping Lexa’s mattress Clarke broke their kiss, looking up at the Commander as she knelt above Clarke. Her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. Her hands moving to remove her clothing. Sitting up quickly, Clarke’s hands replaced Lexa’s, pushing off the fabric that made up Lexa’s shirt and watching as Lexa tossed it off the side of the bed.

Clarke had not had an opportunity to see Lexa topless before, though from what she remembered Lexa was practically pure muscles. Her abs were taut with the way that she was balancing on her knees. Clarke wished that she could have just focused on the flawlessness that was Lexa’s physique. But her eyes were drawn to the angry marks that marred Lexa’s body. The scars that she had caused. Clarke hadn’t forgotten what Lexa had done for them but she had allowed it to fall into the back of her mind. Though it was now brought to the forefront when she saw the scars. They were still angry looking, it would take quite a long time before they faded.

Running her fingers over the one that rested just over Lexa’s rib cage, Clarke felt the guilt press down on her with crushing force.

“I’m so sorry.” Clarke whispered looking up at Lexa. The brunette could see the way that Clarke’s eyes glistened, she could practically feel Clarke’s guilt.

“I would make the same choice again. Every time.” Lexa said grabbing Clarke’s hand up to her mouth and pressing a gentle kiss on Clarke’s palm.

Lexa didn’t allow Clarke much more time to dwell on it, bringing their lips together in a deeper, passion filled kiss full of intention. Laying Clarke back against the bed, this time with her body on top Lexa shivered when she felt Clarke’s finger tips trace along the small of her back. Their kiss grew hungry, releasing everything that they had held in for so long the good and the bad. Lexa could feel the remnants of Clarke’s anger in the way that Clarke bit at her lips harder than necessary but not less pleasurable.

Clothe were discarded and thrown to various parts of the room in a matter of minutes until they were finally pressed skin to skin. Moans fell from both of them and both of them needed a moment just to enjoy the feeling.

“Lexa, touch me.” Clarke requested breathlessly, for the most part Lexa’s touches had been pretty innocence, staying to Clarke’s sides and her shoulders. But Clarke needed more. Lexa nodded, though she didn’t lift her lips from Clarke’s neck. She was fast becoming addicted to kissing Clarke, she enjoyed the small sounds that Clarke made. Though she could tell that Clarke was trying to remain quiet. She could tell in the way that Clarke’s breath would hitch, or she would hold her breath. She was trying to be quiet.

“Do not hold back Clarke, I want to hear you.” As if to make her point she chose that moment to cup Clarke’s breast through the fabric of her bra. Clarke didn’t know if she would have been able to contain the moan that came tumbling out of her mouth. After a few moments of experimental touching Lexa tugged at the fabric. Not quite understanding the way that the clasps worked. The bindings that the grounders wore were much more simple. Clarke helped Lexa unclasp the material, sensing that if she didn’t there was a good chance that Lexa would rip the material off in her impatience.

Now allowed an unfiltered view of Clarke’s breasts Lexa pushed herself up on her elbow and looked down. She had always known that Clarke was beautiful, and would be even more so without her clothing. But even her best imagination could not have painted a more gorgeous sight. Running her fingers over the milky skin of Clarke’s right breast, using the pad of her thumb to draw circles around Clarke’s nipple coaxing it into a stiff peak. Lowering her mouth and taking the peak into her mouth and circling it with her tongue with the occasional flick used for good measure.

“Lexa.” Clarke whimpered, threading her fingers through Lexa’s dark hair keeping her pressed against Clarke. Clarke arched against Lexa, her entire body on fire. Lexa’s touches were overwhelming and yet at the same time not enough. She needed more. But there was no rushing Lexa, she wanted to drive Clarke wild with sensations.

Satisfied at the attention she had given Clarke’s right breast Lexa turned her attention to the other and repeated her worship until Clarke was practically writhing beneath her. Only then did she move further down, ghosting kisses down Clarke’s stomach to her belly button. Occasionally she glanced up at Clarke to see the blonde’s head thrown back and her eyes closed tightly. Pulling on Clarke’s underwear Clarke lifted her hips without being prompted. It was with a great amount of anticipation that she looked down at Clarke and got her first look at the blonde.

Though a dominant part of her wanted to simply dive in and drive her fill of Clarke, Lexa remembered that she wanted this time to be gentle and loving. In this act she wanted to be able to show Clarke everything that she felt for her. She didn’t want to rush this, there would be time enough later for rushed and frenzied passion. Lexa couldn’t help but appreciate the trust that Clarke was showing her by allowing Lexa to see her bare.

“Did you go through all this trouble to stare or are you going to do something?” Startled, Lexa looked up at Clarke and found that Clarke had propped herself up on her elbows. Apparently Lexa had spent a little too long staring.

“My apologies. But you are beautiful Clarke.” Lexa said pressing a gentle kiss inside Clarke’s thigh. Clarke blushed at Lexa’s words. She’d become a little self conscious when Lexa had stared at her. Before she could respond to Lexa’s compliment Clarke felt the amazing sensation of Lexa’s mouth on her and her arms gave out from under her. She didn’t even try and fight the cry that tore from the back of throat.

Clarke wished that she could actually pay attention to what Lexa was doing to her but all that she could do was enjoy the sensation of it. Lexa’s tongue was doing things to her that had her arching, twisting, and squirming, really anything and everything that she could do to keep Lexa doing what she was doing. Lexa’s hand pressed against Clarke’s hip keeping her still. She enjoyed seeing Clarke like this. Clarke was so selfless in almost every aspect of her life, but in this she was allowing herself to be selfish and Lexa wanted to help Clarke embrace the hedonistic aspect of life.

It wasn’t long before Lexa felt Clarke begin to tremble and her movements became more erratic and jerky. The sounds that Clarke made were also growing in volume, Clarke was still trying desperately to contain them. A lifetime in a place where she had to be quiet when experiencing pleasure was hard to shake. There was always someone nearby who could overhear what was happening. But she wasn’t even thinking about that now. All of Polis could be listening and she didn’t think that she had to the ability to control the sounds that she was making.

As Lexa’s tongue flicked against Clarke’s clit, she felt Clarke’s hand grip her hair tightly, bordering on painfully but it didn’t deter Lexa. Circling the sensitive bud with the tip of her tongue Lexa knew that Clarke wouldn’t last much longer. She wondered how no one had taken the opportunity to please Clarke in this way. The blonde’s hips rose desperately against Lexa’s mouth, wanting more. Lexa hesitated when she felt Clarke’s free hand close around hers, worried that this might be a signal from Clarke that she wanted Lexa to stop. But when she saw Clarke’s eyes still heavily lidded but Lexa could see the blue of her eyes shining, she realized that Clarke just wanted the contact with Lexa. She wanted to feel the added closeness of holding Lexa’s hand.

Lexa felt her heart flutter at the thought, giving Clarke’s hand a squeeze before she wrapped her lips around Clarke’s clit and sucked gently. Clarke’s orgasm was sudden, sweeping her up in a euphoric wave. Lexa kept her touch gentle, drawing out Clarke’s pleasure as much as possible until Clarke collapsed limply against the bed.

Moving up Clarke’s body until she was laying next to her, Lexa watched as the blonde fought to catch her breath. Clarke for her part, turned against Lexa tucking her body against Lexa’s needing to be closer to Lexa. She couldn’t describe the need she had to be closer to Lexa, even the inches there had been between them was too much.

Moments passed while they were pressed against one another, Lexa trying valiantly to ignore the way that her body pulsed with her own arousal. She wanted to be patient for Clarke, her ego was plenty inflated by the way that Clarke seemed completely beside herself. As much as she wanted to satisfy her own needs, Lexa could make herself wait. She had plenty of experience with suppressing her own needs. If she had to, this would be enough for her. Spending the rest of her night holding Clarke to her. Lexa was almost sure that Clarke had fallen asleep when she felt Clarke begin to press a string of kisses along her collarbone.

“Clarke...” She had intended to tell Clarke that she didn’t need to, but Clarke wouldn’t be deterred. Pushing Lexa onto her back Clarke rolled on top of her, golden hair falling around them like a curtain. Clarke had a sort of lazy smile across her mouth with happiness that spread to her eyes.

“Let me take care of you.” Lexa could only nod, though her arousal had faded in the moments spent holding Clarke, it returned with a vengeance at Clarke’s words. Pulling Clarke to her Lexa kissed her, though she supposed that she shouldn’t be, she was surprised with how her body reacted to Clarke’s kiss. Something as simple as a kiss was enough to light her body on fire with want. Her heart raced, beating so fast that it threatened to break free from her ribcage.

Clarke’s hand traveled slowly down the length of Lexa’s body, spending time memorizing every contour of Lexa’s abs. Lexa felt Clarke’s touch but it seemed to be magnified, she felt Clarke’s touch everywhere and it made her feel hot.

“Nou Clarke.” Lexa breathed against Clarke’s lips, arching up against Clarke to make her point. Clarke smiled, the desire to tease Lexa was almost enough to distract her. But the look on Lexa’s face, the want she found there was overwhelming.

She found Lexa ready for her as she coated her fingers in Lexa’s wetness, emboldened by the hiss that came from Lexa. Running the tip of her finger along Lexa’s folds before gently pressing into the brunette. Lexa’s breath caught, the feeling of being filled foreign but so good. Keeping her hand still until she felt Lexa’s muscles relax Clarke was slow in her exploration of Lexa. Clarke had never known the power of eye contact while making love, but she couldn’t look away from the slightly glazed over look in Lexa’s eyes.

Her movements were slow and deliberate. She could tell by the way that Lexa fluttered around her fingers that she was too wound up to last too long. Still, Lexa was stubbornly silent and Clarke’s pride would not let that stand. She wanted to make Lexa’s resolve shatter, and she wanted Lexa to scream out her name.

Hearing Lexa’s breathing increase into trembling gasps that Clarke could feel against her face she smiled, moving faster and pushing deeper until she heard it. The faintest whimper coming from the Commander of the thirteen clans, it was the most erotic thing Clarke had ever heard. Clarke’s thumb drew circles around Lexa’s clit and watched as Lexa’s eyes fluttered closed.

“No, look at me.” Clarke whispered. She wanted to see Lexa’s face when she came undone. She wanted to have the picture of Lexa like this burned into her memory. Lexa’s eyes opened, her eyes boring into Clarke’s and it was the most powerful thing that Clarke had ever experienced. She could have sworn that she could feel Lexa’s pleasure as if it were her own.

“Clarke.” Lexa whispered, she could feel her pleasure building, coiling within her needing Clarke to give a little more so that she could achieve release. Clarke seemed to know what Lexa needed because only moments later Lexa was tightening around Clarke’s fingers and Clarke’s name was tumbling from Lexa’s lips like a prayer.

For several minutes the two just lay there relishing in the closeness. Clarke removed her fingers bringing them to her lips and taking one of her digits into her mouth, tasting Lexa for the first time her eyes closed so that she could properly enjoy the taste. A moan falling unchecked from her mouth. Lexa tasted exquisite, and Clarke looked forward to wanting to taste her properly. Though she didn’t have the chance as Lexa flipped their positions so she hovered over Clarke.

“I hope that you are not tired Clarke, I am no where near finished with you.” Lexa said before crashing her lips down onto Clarke’s.

* * *

 

Lexa was teetering somewhere between sleep and awake when she felt Clarke’s fingers tracing one of the twelve scars. She knew that Clarke was not going to let go of the guilt that she felt no matter what Lexa said. Reaching for Clarke’s hand, she pulled it from her skin and brought it to her lips, kissing the back of Clarke’s knuckle before turning to face Clarke. 

“I can see the guilt in your eyes Clarke. This wasn’t your fault.” Lexa said softly. Her voice thick with sleep, they both should be asleep by now dawn had already come and if they waited much longer to get a few hours of sleep they would probably sleep the day away. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing, most people probably would after the celebration.

“Yes it was. If it hadn’t been for me and my people, then the other ambassadors wouldn’t have thought that you were weak. You wouldn’t have had to prove to them, again, that you were worthy of the Commander’s spirit.”

“You were doing what you thought was right for your people.” Clarke knew that Lexa was trying to help, but the familiar line only added to her guilt. This time, what was right for her people nearly cost Lexa her life.

“That’s no excuse.”

“Clarke, it is in the past. And as you can see I am alright. These are not my first scars and they will not be my last.”

“Your last for a while though. Right?” Clarke asked. She hadn’t thought about the possibility of Lexa going off to fight another war. She didn’t want to think about it, but it was the world that they lived in. There was no guarantee that peace would last. It most likely wouldn’t last long with the way that she had seen negotiations fail between the clans.

“Not for a while. For now, all of my ambassadors are content.”

“Well, this ambassador is more than content.” Clarke said with a smile. Kissing Lexa lovingly.

“We should speak about that soon.” Lexa said after a while.

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked suddenly worried.

“It would not sit well with the other ambassadors if you were the Skaikru ambassador and my lover. They would assume that you were getting preferential treatment. It could start a conflict.”

“I hope you’re not asking me to chose between you and my people.” Clarke said guardedly.

“I would never. I am just stating a fact. And it is not one that we can ignore for long. They will ignore it until the next problem arises that requires a summit.”

“Then we will figure it out then.” Lexa didn’t press Clarke. Partially because she wanted to enjoy the peaceful moment for as long as she could.

When Clarke woke up she found herself wrapped in Lexa’s arms, her body felt tired and sore but in the best way. Lexa slept beside her, her face relaxed and looking youthful without any of the responsibilities weighing her down. There would be enough of that when she was awake. Try as she might, Clarke couldn’t go back to sleep and she didn’t want to. She wanted to enjoy this time that she was spending with Lexa. She didn’t know when the next chance she would have to just lay here with Lexa.

It was close to lunch time, but as far as Clarke could tell, no one had tried to disturb them. The usual sound of bustling that she could hear from the hallway was silent. Perhaps all of Polis took the day after the celebration off. They deserved it. But Clarke was getting hungry and she was sure that when Lexa woke she would also be hungry. When she got to the door and opened it, she heard a mad scramble of activity and then an attendant appear at the door.

“Is Heda ready for her morning meal?” She asked, her English was broken and Clarke found that to be oddly refreshing. This girl had never known war. Only grounder warriors were taught English.

“Yes, thank you.”

Closing the door, Clarke knew that Lexa was awake before she even turned back around to face the bed. A soft smile on her face when she saw the way that Lexa lounged on her bed looking at her with a completely unguarded expression. She was utterly sated and happy. 

“I figured you would be hungry when you woke up.” Clarke commented. Lexa nodded, extending her hand to Clarke and waited for Clarke to return to her. Powerless to deny it, Clarke walked back to the bed taking Lexa’s hand when she was within reach. Sitting on the edge of the bed her finger tips teasing along the inside of Lexa’s palm Clarke allowed herself to enjoy the moment. She didn’t think that they would ever get to this, where she and Lexa could enjoy a morning together. Having Lexa stare up at her as if the sun and the stars couldn’t even hold a candle to her. “You’re staring.”

Lexa sat up slowly, ignoring the way that the blanket fell around her waist revealing her nakedness and leaned forward. Brushing her lips against Clarke’s, it amazed her how Lexa was able to convey so much into a single kiss. Everything that she was feeling, every emotion that she might not know how to express with words could be made so clear with just one kiss.

The temptation to touch Lexa was soon overpowering and Clarke couldn’t resist running her fingertips along the defined contours of Lexa’s rib cage. She felt Lexa shudder at the light touch and then pull away.

“That tickles.” Lexa commented.

“The fierce Commander of the thirteen clans is ticklish?” Clarke asked incredulously with just the right hint of teasing.

A knock on the door cut off any answer Lexa might have given and she pulled the furs up to cover herself just as the door opened. The girl that Clarke had spoken to was carrying a tray that looked to be overflowing with food. Her gaze was glued to the floor, Lexa probably could have remained naked and the attendant wouldn’t have seen her.

They enjoyed their breakfast before finally leaving Lexa’s bedroom. It was midday by then, but if anyone had noticed that the two of them were late to rise, no one said anything. There were a dozen different duties that Lexa knew she could, and probably should attend to. But she didn’t want to. She wanted to just be Lexa for a little bit longer.

There was a small veranda on the far side of the tower that was, on nice days, where many of the ambassadors or higher ranking officials had their midday meals, or spent time relaxing. Clarke heard her friends before she saw them. They were laughing, a sound that still filled her with a swell of happiness after everything that they had all gone through. Lexa could see the look that Clarke was trying to conceal and gave her a reassuring half smile. She was still aware that they were in public and every action, every emotion that she let slip could be seen as weakness.

“About time you guys got up!” Octavia shouted when she saw Clarke and Lexa. Clarke’s face flushed, and she ducked her head.

“It was a late night.” Clarke said dodging a grape being flung towards them by Jasper, though she was pretty sure that she was an innocent bystander.

“I’ll bet it was.” Raven said looking Clarke up and down. Raven didn’t need to be a genius to know what Clarke and Lexa got up to the previous night.

“Clarke, I have to go see to the Nightbloods training.” Lexa said softly. Clarke’s happy mood dimmed slightly at the thought that this was where her time with Lexa ended.

“Okay.”

“I will come find you later.” Lexa promised, casting one final look at the delinquents before turning and leaving. When Clarke looked back at the table, they were all silent and she now had their undivided attention. Each of them looking at her expectantly.

“What?”

“Don’t give us that! Details. Now.” Octavia said leaning forward excitedly.

“No.”

“Clarke, it’s cute that you think that we’re going to let you leave the table without telling us every detail. But seriously, just spill.” Raven said with a rolling of her eyes.

 

**__A/N: There will be a few chapters of just focusing on Clarke and Lexa's relationship and navigating the political arena of Polis before the plot really starts taking off. I do have one. I promise :-)**


End file.
